Ok, before I'm harangued by everyone with kids. Let me explain...
I recently read WCI post on becoming FI and traveling more. In the title of his post, he wrote something along the lines of the "pesky" kids being a deterrent to travel. (still possible to travel, but requires more planning, and in some respects could be less enjoyable).
The comments to the post went on all sorts of tangents, so I thought I might revive a different question that has been plaguing me: should we have kids?
I am a 36 year old hospitalist with a criminal defense attorney husband, he's 39. We are both ambivalent about kids, since our current lives are so fabulous.
A hospitalist works week on week off schedule, I'm pretty much a workaholic and have worked up to four jobs in the span of a year in moonlighting, plus got my MBA.
jobs - full time hospitalist at VA
- part time hospitalist in the private sector (but still employed by the group)
- moonlighting with a third group (occasionally, i would go to my private job first, then see extra patients at another hospital for this group)
- chair of internal medicine at an 8 hospital facility x 4 years
- working professional MBA (this is completed as of april of 2016 @ UF)
despite all of those jobs, and extra responsibilities... I have been able to take greater than 3 months off each year to travel around the world, will give examples, and everyone always says, where do you find the time? I basically tell them, when I'm at our home city, I work, and when I'm not working, I travel, so have very few "stay-cations." But I am ultra-efficient at my job, and what takes most hospitalists 12 hours to complete, I can get done in four, hence the ability to do so many jobs at once, and every year, we are traveling more than the year before!
2013 - new zealand, india, tanzania
2014 - france, south africa
2015 - Vietnam, a bunch of places, I can't recall off the top of my head.
2016 - Chile, Italy, Myanmar (with texas, california, north carolina, new york and a smattering of other domestic trips that I can't remember right now)
2017 - Argentina, Sicily, Spain, India/Sri Lanka
2018 (yes, I already have these planned out -- argentina, italy, tazmania/australia)
Ok so the point is we love to travel, and despite our hectic schedules, we make it work.. and have time to spare. I get bored easily and am constantly trying to find things to do fill up my day, and since mainly I love being a hospitalist that has been work. But lately, maybe I'm having a quarter life crisis I'm wondering if there's something else out there... like children! and this may be because my sister had a baby, and I--- who has never even picked up a baby before--- fell in love with this baby. Granted, the baby is damned cute, and very well behaved, I mean what baby sleeps through 3 restaurant meals, poops once a day, and literally does not cry unless she really needs something. That being said, the job of taking care of her, did not look easy... ATC feedings, diapers etc, but the joy of being around her for me (who didn't have to do any of the actual hard work, i just got to play with her) was amazing! And not really anything I ever experienced before.
... So I really started thinking about it. And I've narrowed it down to two dilemmas.. or a tale of two possible regrets..
Will I regret having kids?
Will I regret not having kids? (especially later, when I'm no longer able to have them)
Or will neither outcome happen and maybe I can just be happy in both scenarios.
Or maybe I will be unhappy in both scenarios for different reasons? (worst case scenario)
So I did what I always do: which is research the ************************ out of this on the internet... and found that I could not relate to most of the articles out there.. because we're in just a different socio-economic status than the average person.
I googled "Do Doctors regret having children?"
Not surprisingly, no articles showed up =(
But then I saw the recent WCI post, and on the classic "stupid doctor mistakes" and one of the cynical comments was about children and including them in the mistakes!!!
So.. I ask the question... and I know everyone is different, but maybe there are some like-minded individuals out there, that have already been in my situation, and now retired doctors without kids.. what is your life like? do you regret it? or like me, were you unsure, but took the plunge into parenthood?
Any insight would be helpful.
Jessi
since this is a financial website, I'm not sure if I should include my financial situation for accuracy?
since residency
bought a condo immediately during residency, during height of market in june 2008, only to see it crash --- yes stupid doctor mistake, but I lived in it, and then my dad lived in it, and we've had it rented every since.. so making money on it now.. and ten years into the mortgage.
6 years out from residency
student loans paid year one - were only 60K, so it wasn't difficult
bought house year 2 in 2012 -- this was at the very LOW of the market, probably rock bottom, but it was probably more house than we need (stupid doctor mistake two) on a lake in orlando.. however, it brings me great joy to swim in every day (yes with the gators), but jumbo mortage at a rate of 3.87, 30 year fixed.. and now the market has bounced back so house is worth more than what we originally bought it for, no intention of ever selling as I love where we live.
2013- current... have worked like a crazy person, contribute the max to all retirement accounts, 401ks, roth iras, and hsas, and have a taxable account that i put whatever else is in there.. i try not to buy anything that we can't afford, and if I want something, I just work extra to pay for it.
2017 - did a whole house remodel which set me back 268K, but my husband is a gourmet chef, and we host a lot of dinner parties and he really needed that miele range, and subzero (stupid doctor mistake)
2017 - bought a boat -- i'm not sure if this counts as a stupid doctor mistake, since we did delay buying it for five years since having this house.. and actually, it has been a lot of fun using it, and learning how to surf (injuries notwithstanding)
according to all the spread sheets, we're on our way to FI, and if I keep working like I do, we can probably reach it sooner... that being said I've been letting a lot of things go that haven't been bringing me a lot of joy or that I've reached maximal reward from.
For example, this year, I gave up the chairman of medicine position ---> it was just no longer fun, having to counsel doctors older than me, dealing with risk management, and the pains of credentialing 600 physicians, I feel I had learned as much as I could from this...
I'm also giving up one of my full-time hospitalist jobs. With the VA. There is a lot of bureaucracy there, and they don't value efficiency, which is one of my core strengths. (they are now requiring 12 hrs in-house shifts, and for someone that can finish their work in 4 hours, the other 8 hours is absolute torture, yes I can do other stuff there like plan my vacations, and write my book, but the struggle to sit in my office for that long, started to make it feel like a prison).
I also gave up any extraneous moonlighting that was not enjoyable.. like night shifts or weekends.
So.. I went from four jobs.. to one part time job, and then moonlighting options as I see fit and when I want to do them.
and for a workaholic.. this has kind of been torture, but literally only happened less than a month ago. Actually I gave notice to the VA on my 36th birthday.
Anyway, I'm hoping this "free time" will 1) help me make sense of this motherhood decision (which is the point of this post)
2) allow me to finish a book I've been writing in a all of my spare time.
3) let me explore potential business possibilities outside of medicine, and use that MBA that I earned
Ok now I'm done!
I recently read WCI post on becoming FI and traveling more. In the title of his post, he wrote something along the lines of the "pesky" kids being a deterrent to travel. (still possible to travel, but requires more planning, and in some respects could be less enjoyable).
The comments to the post went on all sorts of tangents, so I thought I might revive a different question that has been plaguing me: should we have kids?
I am a 36 year old hospitalist with a criminal defense attorney husband, he's 39. We are both ambivalent about kids, since our current lives are so fabulous.
A hospitalist works week on week off schedule, I'm pretty much a workaholic and have worked up to four jobs in the span of a year in moonlighting, plus got my MBA.
jobs - full time hospitalist at VA
- part time hospitalist in the private sector (but still employed by the group)
- moonlighting with a third group (occasionally, i would go to my private job first, then see extra patients at another hospital for this group)
- chair of internal medicine at an 8 hospital facility x 4 years
- working professional MBA (this is completed as of april of 2016 @ UF)
despite all of those jobs, and extra responsibilities... I have been able to take greater than 3 months off each year to travel around the world, will give examples, and everyone always says, where do you find the time? I basically tell them, when I'm at our home city, I work, and when I'm not working, I travel, so have very few "stay-cations." But I am ultra-efficient at my job, and what takes most hospitalists 12 hours to complete, I can get done in four, hence the ability to do so many jobs at once, and every year, we are traveling more than the year before!
2013 - new zealand, india, tanzania
2014 - france, south africa
2015 - Vietnam, a bunch of places, I can't recall off the top of my head.
2016 - Chile, Italy, Myanmar (with texas, california, north carolina, new york and a smattering of other domestic trips that I can't remember right now)
2017 - Argentina, Sicily, Spain, India/Sri Lanka
2018 (yes, I already have these planned out -- argentina, italy, tazmania/australia)
Ok so the point is we love to travel, and despite our hectic schedules, we make it work.. and have time to spare. I get bored easily and am constantly trying to find things to do fill up my day, and since mainly I love being a hospitalist that has been work. But lately, maybe I'm having a quarter life crisis I'm wondering if there's something else out there... like children! and this may be because my sister had a baby, and I--- who has never even picked up a baby before--- fell in love with this baby. Granted, the baby is damned cute, and very well behaved, I mean what baby sleeps through 3 restaurant meals, poops once a day, and literally does not cry unless she really needs something. That being said, the job of taking care of her, did not look easy... ATC feedings, diapers etc, but the joy of being around her for me (who didn't have to do any of the actual hard work, i just got to play with her) was amazing! And not really anything I ever experienced before.
... So I really started thinking about it. And I've narrowed it down to two dilemmas.. or a tale of two possible regrets..
Will I regret having kids?
Will I regret not having kids? (especially later, when I'm no longer able to have them)
Or will neither outcome happen and maybe I can just be happy in both scenarios.
Or maybe I will be unhappy in both scenarios for different reasons? (worst case scenario)
So I did what I always do: which is research the ************************ out of this on the internet... and found that I could not relate to most of the articles out there.. because we're in just a different socio-economic status than the average person.
I googled "Do Doctors regret having children?"
Not surprisingly, no articles showed up =(
But then I saw the recent WCI post, and on the classic "stupid doctor mistakes" and one of the cynical comments was about children and including them in the mistakes!!!
So.. I ask the question... and I know everyone is different, but maybe there are some like-minded individuals out there, that have already been in my situation, and now retired doctors without kids.. what is your life like? do you regret it? or like me, were you unsure, but took the plunge into parenthood?
Any insight would be helpful.
Jessi
since this is a financial website, I'm not sure if I should include my financial situation for accuracy?
since residency
bought a condo immediately during residency, during height of market in june 2008, only to see it crash --- yes stupid doctor mistake, but I lived in it, and then my dad lived in it, and we've had it rented every since.. so making money on it now.. and ten years into the mortgage.
6 years out from residency
student loans paid year one - were only 60K, so it wasn't difficult
bought house year 2 in 2012 -- this was at the very LOW of the market, probably rock bottom, but it was probably more house than we need (stupid doctor mistake two) on a lake in orlando.. however, it brings me great joy to swim in every day (yes with the gators), but jumbo mortage at a rate of 3.87, 30 year fixed.. and now the market has bounced back so house is worth more than what we originally bought it for, no intention of ever selling as I love where we live.
2013- current... have worked like a crazy person, contribute the max to all retirement accounts, 401ks, roth iras, and hsas, and have a taxable account that i put whatever else is in there.. i try not to buy anything that we can't afford, and if I want something, I just work extra to pay for it.
2017 - did a whole house remodel which set me back 268K, but my husband is a gourmet chef, and we host a lot of dinner parties and he really needed that miele range, and subzero (stupid doctor mistake)
2017 - bought a boat -- i'm not sure if this counts as a stupid doctor mistake, since we did delay buying it for five years since having this house.. and actually, it has been a lot of fun using it, and learning how to surf (injuries notwithstanding)
according to all the spread sheets, we're on our way to FI, and if I keep working like I do, we can probably reach it sooner... that being said I've been letting a lot of things go that haven't been bringing me a lot of joy or that I've reached maximal reward from.
For example, this year, I gave up the chairman of medicine position ---> it was just no longer fun, having to counsel doctors older than me, dealing with risk management, and the pains of credentialing 600 physicians, I feel I had learned as much as I could from this...
I'm also giving up one of my full-time hospitalist jobs. With the VA. There is a lot of bureaucracy there, and they don't value efficiency, which is one of my core strengths. (they are now requiring 12 hrs in-house shifts, and for someone that can finish their work in 4 hours, the other 8 hours is absolute torture, yes I can do other stuff there like plan my vacations, and write my book, but the struggle to sit in my office for that long, started to make it feel like a prison).
I also gave up any extraneous moonlighting that was not enjoyable.. like night shifts or weekends.
So.. I went from four jobs.. to one part time job, and then moonlighting options as I see fit and when I want to do them.
and for a workaholic.. this has kind of been torture, but literally only happened less than a month ago. Actually I gave notice to the VA on my 36th birthday.
Anyway, I'm hoping this "free time" will 1) help me make sense of this motherhood decision (which is the point of this post)
2) allow me to finish a book I've been writing in a all of my spare time.
3) let me explore potential business possibilities outside of medicine, and use that MBA that I earned
Ok now I'm done!
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