Do you always try to "be yourself"?

[jfoxcpacfp]

Are you a "High Self Monitor" or a "Low Self Monitor"? This is a very interesting article and particularly applicable in a career. I think "Be Yourself" may be different from what most of us believe it means, at least as discussed here.

Unless You're Oprah, "Be Yourself" is Terrible Advice.

[Zaphod]

Ha, funny article. There is a huge difference between being yourself and just saying any dumb or rude thing that comes into your head like one of the examples. However, the overall point is true. Being your authentic self in any way, pursuits, goals, what you'd really like to be doing at any time is really a luxury afforded to those that are financially independent only. You cant spend large parts of every day just riding your bike when you have a job to go to, etc...

I thought the part about how females were more authentic and shared more very interesting and never heard that before. Its funny, everyone is supposed to own up to their limitations and acknowledge such so that a better overall job is done but of course those that do get burned by it. Interesting conundrum.

It seems I have mentioned bicycles in two posts back to back...I will go for a ride I guess.

[jfoxcpacfp]

I agree, there is a huge difference, so the title was a little misleading. Even Oprah doesn't spout every thought she has, I'm sure. But who doesn't want to be considered "authentic"? I think telling a client that she's turning into a porker is rude (and dangerous), not authentic. The opposite of authentic is fake, imho. But...the 35-y.o. me living inside this 59-y.o. body can well relate to the female example. Enjoy your ride, maybe I should get out of the office myself :-)

[consultpsych]

I have generally been skeptical of the word "authentic" or the idea of "being yourself" especially as emphasized so much in American culture today.

There is no real 'authenticity' in culture/cuisine/personality. You can be honest or dishonest with facts, you can have selfish or selfless motives (or mixed motives), and those things matter. But 'authenticity' is a wispy concept.

This youtube video is a great example of what I'm talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo59LlkTDe4

It's called "Chinese People try Panda Express For The First Time." What struck me is that the younger people in the video needed to *seem* authentic, so they had to criticize Panda Express for not being authentic.

The older folks were *genuinely authentic* (experiencing, sharing, honest) and had no problem saying that something from Panda Express was good, or even similar to the traditional Chinese way of doing things.

I use the food/culture and "authenticity" as examples because I am the son of Indian immigrants and I see how people in the US sometimes seek authenticity in the way the experience other cultures even when members of those other cultures aren't so concerned with that "authenticity."

But I believe this applies psychologically as well, to "being yourself." Trying to "be yourself" leads one, ironically, to be devious in order to *seem* like you are "being yourself," or on the other hand, could lead one to just ignore others. Better to be honest, virtuous, ethical, hardworking, thoughtful, etc.

When I compare my actual current self to an ideal human being, I am so far off, why would I want to "be myself." I want to be better.

[SValleyMD]

In this day and age it's much more important IMO from a job security standpoint to keep the mouth shut and pick your battles. Plus I have to change my personality to be a little more engaging with pts.

So guess in that sense I try my best to not be my true self in the workplace.

[The White Coat Investor]

jfoxcpacfp wrote:

I agree, there is a huge difference, so the title was a little misleading. Even Oprah doesn’t spout every thought she has, I’m sure. But who doesn’t want to be considered “authentic”? I think telling a client that she’s turning into a porker is rude (and dangerous), not authentic. The opposite of authentic is fake, imho. But…the 35-y.o. me living inside this 59-y.o. body can well relate to the female example. Enjoy your ride, maybe I should get out of the office myself

Click to expand...

Imagine if your job were to tell her she's turning into a porker in a way that does not offend her but rather motivates her. Now try being authentic too. That's a big ask.

[wideopenspaces]

Oh, I'm def a low self monitor-er. I'd say I can't help it, but maybe I just don't care enough to do it? But I'm not an a-hole to people-I try very hard to find an empathic place for everyone I come into contact with, I just don't always filter as much as I (probably) should? I'm pretty genuine with patients. What you see is what you get. And I think they respond to that- they see I'm just a normal person like they are, and I can understand what they are going through. I'd be screwed in the business world, I'm sure. Luckily I don't want more in my career than what I have, and since psychiatrists are few and far between my job is pretty secure. Today I told our clinic manager that to make the clinic more money, we should rent out our new observation room on the weekends to exhibitionists/voyeurs. I mean, it's the perfect space for it! Would it make money? Probably. Should I have suggested it? Probably not . . .

[jfoxcpacfp]

The easiest way to be yourself is to not take yourself too seriously.