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Reasonable Cost of Engagement Ring for Med Student

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  • #31
    Still haven't upgraded either.  Spent $750 19 years ago.

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    • #32
      Moissanite.  Get involved.

       

      https://www.brilliantearth.com/moissanite-rings/

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      • #33
        Well, I'm happy to report instant results on this front. I spoke to my girlfriend at the dinner table today, and she was more than happy with what I think is a good middle ground after reading all of your responses. Start with a high quality setting with a moissanite center stone, and then reassess in the future for the possibility of swapping in a diamond. Still would be the original setting, so the sentimental part stays in tact and we save a serious chunk of money now. Thanks again!

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        • #34
          Bought an engagement ring during my intern year.  Spent way more than I should have (~6K), wife loves the ring and no plans on upgrading.  While I don't necessarily regret the decision, it was certainly not a wise financial decision and did not impact our relationship one bit.  If I had to do it again, I would have gone MUCH cheaper and been just as happy.  Glad to hear you and your SO are on the same page and wish you the best of luck.

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          • #35
            Congrats OP! I think you're making a good choice. FWIW, I hardly wear my engagement ring because it catches on things and gets crap stuck in it. Once you have kids, I (and most of my friends) switched over to simply wearing the wedding band anyway. We got married in college so spent maybe$1500 on it? I still love it but only wear it when we go out.

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            • #36
              I did not pay for a ring  :lol: , so I do not have a "personal" opinion. However, I would say "listen to your heart (not hers)". Rationalization has its place in life but at times you need (should?) to veer off the course. I am a staunch WCI but I did let the string lose during medical school and residency when I wanted. If you bothered asking this thoughtful question here in the forum, I say you will be right when you listen to your heart. All the best!

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              • #37
                don't believe the hype.  get out with as inexpensive piece as possible

                 

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                • #38
                  "Reasonable?" Lol. The answer is zero.

                  Unfortunately, our society is very unreasonable as it pertains to all things surrounding weddings and engagements, and I don't know when those DeBeers commercials went from saying two months' to three months' salary...greedy manipulative salesmen.  So, multiply your monthly income by three, and...oh, you're a first year med student? Easy math. 3 x 0 = $0.

                  Heh. Seriously, though, keep it to something you can cash-flow, ideally not out of your student loans, but whatever. Don't go into even more debt for the sake of it.

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                  • #39
                    I got in trouble for going to big on my wife's ring. She doesn't know how much I spent but if I recall it was about 1-2k range. It appraised for over 4k. I was lucky enough to have a transplant surgeon refer me to his personal local jeweler. It also happened to be that I went to high school with that jewelers daughter. Use any connections you have.

                    Our wedding bands were both plain. Her's a white gold. Mine tungsten. Just whatever you do, don't get titanium.

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                    • #40
                      Really easy to note just how little people spent and how this is all marketing ploys. Most of it is marketing but it's also a social ritual that might be important to your future spouse. Having said ritual be important to your future spouse is not incontrovertible evidence that said future spouse is venal, shallow, or materialistic. There are lots of other social rituals out there that you can probably realize are important you that others think are BS.

                      I certainly know guys with individual rifles that cost $5-10k who will talk your ear off about how stupid it is to buy a diamond for your fiancee.

                      You want the woman you are trying to marry to feel happy and special, if that's a $200 thrift store ring that's awesome. If your prospective fiancee wants that then that's probably wrapped up with a bunch of other things about you as a couple.

                      I personally think a good ROT is:

                      med student: $1k max, and you need to sacrifice some other stuff to make that happen (e.g. no vacation w/ your crew that year)

                      resident: $2-3k range

                      attending: one month take home

                      If you get the job done more cheaply, bully for you. When I was a young attending I bought my now wife a ring that cost $10k. She loves it, it made her really happy, and I love her. I don't wish I had bought an index fund.

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                      • #41
                        I see most people have spent 1K or so. A few have spent $6K and realize it was too much but justify it as it makes her feel good even after 15 years of marriage.

                        So far we have not heard from anyone who spent $6K and was married only for a short time and regrets spending so much money. Self selection bias?

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                        • #42




                          So far we have not heard from anyone who spent $6K and was married only for a short time and regrets spending so much money. Self selection bias?
                          Click to expand...


                          Hah, probably not a lot of people wanting to discuss buying their ex-wife a $10k engagement ring.

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                          • #43
                            You guys are pretty cheap.  I think I spent $10k on my engagement ring.  I was a grad student at the time with no clear prospects of making a high income.  I did pay with cash and didn't have any debt.  Fiance/wife was happy with it, so happy in fact that I/we haven't had bought another piece of jewelry since.  Pretty good investment IMO.  If you cheap out now, you may pay for it later.

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                            • #44




                                If you cheap out now, you may pay for it later.
                              Click to expand...


                              If you "pay for it later" because you didn't spend enough on the engagement ring, you either:

                              1.  Chose the wrong spouse

                              2.  Didn't treat your spouse well enough throughout your marriage.  No amount of bling will make up for that anyway.

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                              • #45







                                  If you cheap out now, you may pay for it later.
                                Click to expand…


                                If you “pay for it later” because you didn’t spend enough on the engagement ring, you either:

                                1.  Chose the wrong spouse

                                2.  Didn’t treat your spouse well enough throughout your marriage.  No amount of bling will make up for that anyway.
                                Click to expand...


                                That's just like your opinion.  Several people on here are talking about "upgrading" the cheap ring later, which could have been avoided if the mooninite ring wasn't chosen in the first place.

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