What to do when you don\'t like your best friend\'s fiance

[cgossage]

C for sure.  The best thing you can do is be there for your buddy.  Questioning his choice about the girl he loves will make him defensive and likely shut you out.  In the situation things do go bad he won't come to you to talk about it.  He needs your support and who knows, she may grow on your over time and you may come to see why he loves her so much.

[djohnflatfeecfp]

I lived through the C scenario years ago.  Dated a girl for a long time and once we broke up my friends and family all said the same thing - "We couldn't stand her."  It did not bother me they never said anything when we dated and they all knew it wouldn't last.

[Kamban]

Unless he asks, keeping the mouth shut is the best option,

[Dr. Mom]

C...My son, against my advice, talked to one of his best friends who was in a similar situation with his girlfriend.  They ended up missing out on over a year of their friendship when the guy stayed with the girl.  When the girl dumped him, it took my son and his friend quite a while to repair their friendship.  The friend really could've used their friendship as the breakup was hard for him.  So, my advice is to try to tolerate the girl for now because one of two things will happen.  She'll walk, and your friend will need you.  She'll stay, and you'll get to keep your friend.

[q-school]

either she's young and will mature or he'll realize and won't stick around, or they will get married and you won't be their friend any more eventually because these things can't be hidden.  at least for me, that's how these things go.

c.

 

[jsr52]

A hard C - He's an adult, needs to learn to crash and burn on his own. Its ok to tell your best friend you don't like someone they just started to date if you see certain character flaws... but he's chosen to spend the "rest" of his life with her. As physicians, we have an uncanny ability to read people and relationships, and a desire to help, but this just isn't the place to do it.

[VagabondMD]

C

Or D, wait until he asks for your opinion and be honest (but tactful)

[Dilaudidopenia]

So my best friend is engaged to a woman that none of our friends in our little group are really a fan of.  There is nothing really outwardly nefarious about her - she is overall a decent person I guess.  However, over the ~1 year that we've known her, she's demonstrated a pattern of behavior including emotional immaturity, lack of self-awareness, and just general annoying-ness.  She will frequently pick fights with him over seemingly nothing.  She is very opinionated and frequently complains.  The personal finance part comes in here: my friend is a non-medical professional who has made good money since graduating college and is now working to help pay off her non-medical professional degree.  She is likely going into a sector of work in which she stands to make much less money than he does.

I guess I'm just worried he might be making a mistake, both interpersonally and financially.  This is his first long term relationship.  If he's truly happy with the situation and her, then that's all that matters to me and I will forever hold my piece.  He seems happy, but I can't be sure.  The way I see it, there are three options:

a) Say something directly to him -  risking damaging our relationship

b) Try to indirectly assess how happy he is in the relationship, either by talking to him or someone from his family - which could get weird

c) Shut up and let him be free to make his own (potential) mistakes

After discussing with my wife and other friends, I'm leaning towards (c) as I don't want to damage our relationship and he does seem generally happy in the relationship.  I was wondering if and of you have been in a similar situation and how you dealt with it.  Thanks!