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Another reason to NOT retire early

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  • Another reason to NOT retire early

    So, I now take a full day off every week. My wife, " forced" me into going to the mall to help with with Christmas shopping.

    I had no choice. It was brutal.

    I mumbled something under my breath after the 4th hour to the effect of, " maybe I'll never retire to avoid things like this.."

    The slap to my padded jacket shoulder was loud enough for other lady shoppers (without their husbands present) to turn and stare angrily at me...

     

    Seasons Greetings

  • #2
    I wouldn't have pegged you for the old guy shuffling like a petulant child behind the wife as she shops.  Keep acting that way and she'll learn to leave you home

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    • #3
      I hope so, I've tried for years to be left home.

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      • #4


        Why I shop alone.

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        • #5
          Bringing kids with us makes the trips go faster, because it's a pain in the ****************** to take them to a bunch of stores.  I am happy to stay at home w/the kids unless taking them is required (to get them something).

          Compared to earlier in our marriage (i.e. 0-1 kids) our mall time has dropped significantly, even though last year we moved spitting distance from the most popular mall in our region.
          An alt-brown look at medicine, money, faith, & family
          www.RogueDadMD.com

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          • #6
            bwuahaha this was great.

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            • #7
              I almost have forgotten about malls, and we go years without going to one. My wife doesnt make me go, and hates having to be around if Im shopping. This works great.

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              • #8


                My wife doesnt make me go, and hates having to be around if Im shopping. This works great.Please share the secret of how one achieves this higher state of being.

                Please share the secret

                Please..

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                • #9





                  My wife doesnt make me go, and hates having to be around if Im shopping. This works great.Please share the secret of how one achieves this higher state of being.

                  Please share the secret

                  Please..
                  Click to expand...


                  You have to be really annoying, check everything relentlessly and take your time. Usually when Im shopping I either know exactly what I want, or am going for some general item to see if what I need is there. In the first situation, I've already researched and learned a ton and its there or not. However, in the second, I kind of do all of that during the shopping, I cant seem to just buy something. So, take her to some no fun place, look at everything, look up reviews on phone, generally take forever, etc...and then best of all leave without purchasing anything and say you'll come back tomorrow.

                  I no longer am invited to shopping, and if I say, 'lets check out such/such' I usually get an eye roll, its great.

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                  • #10
                    There’s a new invention that lets you do your Christmas shopping from home. I suggest Googling it. May change your life.

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                    • #11





                      My wife doesnt make me go, and hates having to be around if Im shopping. This works great.Please share the secret of how one achieves this higher state of being.

                      Please share the secret

                      Please..
                      Click to expand...


                      Wander off repetitively so she has to text or call you.  Then be really slow to answer the text or call.  Got me out of going into Home Depot and Lowes with my husband. I get to stay in the car and read I wouldn't dream of dragging him shopping since I hate shopping and like to get it done as quick as possible.  Good luck!

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                      • #12
                        Guys, it's called the interwebs. Everything you ever wanted to buy is on there.

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                        • #13
                          I either shop alone or with girlfriends.

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                          • #14
                            Yeah, I used to bring a Kindle and read while I'm wandering around behind her.  She found that pretty embarrassing; so these days, I usually go see a movie or two at the nearby theater while she shops.  We both leave happy.
                            I should have been a pair of ragged claws. Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

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                            • #15
                               





                              My wife doesnt make me go, and hates having to be around if Im shopping. This works great.Please share the secret of how one achieves this higher state of being.

                              Please share the secret

                              Please..
                              Click to expand...


                              I have found that when you play the "guess how much this purse/jacket/pair of shoes/shirt/underwear...(whatever) costs?" game once or twice, in a fairly boisterous and obtrusive manner, nobody wants you around for the next trip to the mall.

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