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  • A job dilemma for me!

    I am in my 22nd year in the same private practice, and over the last two years, I have recrafted my professional role to my liking. It's not the ideal job, but it's just fine (and getting better when I go part time in January). My wife has a solid job, with some golden handcuffs, including the retiree health plan, which will qualify both of us when she hits 55 in less than two years. On a personal note, my daughter is a Sophomore in high school, and my son is four hours away in college. Things are on track for us all to be able to cut ties here when my daughter finishes high school, if we want, or stay if we choose.

    Now the dilemma. There has been a job opening in a part of the country 1000 miles away that is extremely desirable to me. The job is a tough fit and has been offered publicly for six months or more. It requires an unusual skill set (which I have) and the professional maturity to work alone in a department (which I would like to think I have), both of which tend to eliminate those coming out of training. It is also in a very HCOL area, one in which I would enjoy, and could see living 30 mins away from the madness, far enough to buy a reasonable house for a reasonable sum (or rent for a while, if need be).

    If I were typing this in 2020, this would be my dream situation. My wife retires, my daughter graduates, and I take a job with a great group (I have a lot of friends in the group) in an ideal setting. I work another 5-10 years and live in one of our favorite parts of the country. My wife would enjoy the move, we would have frequent guests, make lots of new friends, rekindle some old friendships, etc. It would be a virtual no-brainer.

    Unfortunately, it is late 2017, and we have the daughter doing well in high school (involved in activities, circle of nice friends), the wife with the golden handcuffs, etc. I have thought of inquiring with my friends if there was a job-share possibility, as perhaps there is another candidate (or someone internally) who would like to have half of the job, but even that would be a significant disruption to the home life for my wife and daughter. I am hesitant to inquire, though, if I am not ready to pull the trigger.

    My heart says "go", and my brain says "no". So, is there an angle to this I am missing? Does anyone think we should try to take the job now and move everyone to the new locale (where, BTW, it is unlikely my wife will find similar employment and would likely retire)? Try to job share and commute for a couple years? Forget about it, stop looking at job ads, and focus on my current situation for the next two years?

  • #2
    It looks like a pretty easy “no” to me, but I would make the usual pros/cons table.  It appears the only reason you are thinking about this job is because you think something similar won’t be available in the future.  The good thing about HCOLA’s is that they typically offer a lot of job opportunities.  Uprooting your family for this “ideal” job doesn’t seem worth it unless they are also on board.  There’s a good chance you find that this job is not as great as you imagine anyway.  I’m sure you can find another great job when the family is in a better position to move.

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    • #3
      Sorry V, but your daughter comes first.  No way would I uproot her in high school.  I am also concerned about the commute and working alone part of the job for you based on comments you've made in the past.  If you really like it, just approach them in a few years when your life timing is right with your family.  I can't imagine they wouldn't want you then as well.  Stop looking on the other side of the fence for now and enjoy the green grass where you are!  Best wishes.

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      • #4
        This sounds like a very unusual position if it hasn't been filled for 6 months. I certainly wouldn't vote to uproot the family; it would be too impactful for both your wife with the golden handcuffs and your daughter at a very sensitive point in her life. You know your family's personal dynamics best, though. Is this a situation you would all be willing to put up with you commuting back-and-forth weekly for 3 years? Could you rearrange the schedule to be one full week on and one full week off? Just wondering if there is any flexibility. Being able to video-conference has changed the landscape for being able to stay connected when you're not physically there.

        On the other hand, you're looking forward to cutting back in January. Will this plunge you back into the 60-hours a week rat-race just when you've begun anticipating a slowdown? Or does the shift to p.t. result from the current situation (as I seem to remember from the prior thread about this topic)?

        Three years can go by pretty fast (as I can testify to at age 60   ). If you would all be miserable during that time, it's just not worth it. If you can work out a fair compromise and make it work, I see a possibility. Of course, this is also assuming that the job is in Mrs. Vagabond's dream retirement location, also.
        Working to protect good doctors from bad advisors. Fox & Co CPAs, Fox & Co Wealth Mgmt. 270-247-6087

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        • #5
          Your wife's golden handcuffs truly are worth their weight in gold.  I would not give up lifetime retiree health insurance .  Deals like that are rare.  My brother and his wife got that from IBM.  I would not want to disrupt your daughter either.  Maybe you could work one week and return home the next.  I guess you need a second person to job share with.  You are close to the finish line now.

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          • #6
            Of course, this is also assuming that the job is in Mrs. Vagabond’s dream retirement location, also.

            Actually, it is. Alas, we must live in the present and not in the future. Had I not tidied up the job situation at home it would be more of an option, but I do like the direction of things now. Staying put is the right move.

            I am going to unsubscribe to the job listing emails until I am ready to make a move. If it opens up in late 2019, I will be ready for it.

             

             

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            • #7


              If it opens up in late 2019, I will be ready for it.
              Click to expand...


              Even if it isn't listed, contact them.  Sometimes a job can open up for the right person.

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              • #8




                Of course, this is also assuming that the job is in Mrs. Vagabond’s dream retirement location, also.

                Actually, it is. Alas, we must live in the present and not in the future. Had I not tidied up the job situation at home it would be more of an option, but I do like the direction of things now. Staying put is the right move.

                I am going to unsubscribe to the job listing emails until I am ready to make a move. ???? If it opens up in late 2019, I will be ready for it.

                 

                 
                Click to expand...


                Glad you have been able to make a decision and definitely sounds like the right one.  Just out of curiosity, would you have been able to fly back and forth on a regular basis?

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                • #9
                  Too many things are going well right now. A slightly less than hectic job for you. A son off to college. A daughter going well in high school. A wife who earns well and is due to get medical benefits for both of you until 65. And you have saved well and achieved FI.

                  You must be a bit crazy to leave all that for a job that might not be all that great when you actually join. So control your urges until you daughter goes to college. Time flies.  

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                  • #10
                    I'd contact them and let them know you're interested, but not for a while. What can it hurt? Maybe they muddle along for a couple of years and then take you.
                    Helping those who wear the white coat get a fair shake on Wall Street since 2011

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                    • #11


                      My heart says “go”, and my brain says “no”.
                      Click to expand...


                      There are times when you should follow your heart. I don't think this is one of them. I think your brain is making the right choice.

                      In two or three years, an even better situation may arise (or remain available) in the same group or a different group entirely. Or you may realize that you could just as easily move there (or anywhere) without any interest in working.

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                      • #12
                        Yes you can completely retire with that guaranteed health insurance.

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                        • #13
                          I think one of the few absolute truths in this world is not to mess with teenage girls.

                          My oldest is 2, so obv this isn't coming from a perspective of extensive experience, but...I think you'll regret uprooting her more than you'll regret a job opportunity.

                          Hey, didn't they make a movie about this exact thing? Except that did have a fairly happy ending...

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                          • #14
                            I vote “no.” You have too many things coming to fruition in your current location. Contact the dream job and say that you’ll sign a contract to move there in 2020 if they’ll take you. They can hire someone in the interim before you come along. And if they say no, at least you tried.

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                            • #15
                              Stop being ridiculous. I'm glad you already reached the conclusion yourself.

                              Spend the next two years figuring out what you want to accomplish during your well earned retirement. You may not want to work at all in a few years. Plus are they going to want 54 yo vagabond if he wants to work part time and has all these vacation demands?

                              If you insist on pursuing this, ask if they will take you on S a Locums for a couple weeks here and there. Learning new Emr is hard. Not knowing who you are talking to when speaking with consultant is hard. Being required to sit in meetings for ir, vascular, onco, gi, m and m, pulmonary when you are part time is no fun. Answering questions bout credentialing no fun. There's a lot of good will built up in one place over a twenty year career. Enjoy it. If you want to move to Colorado or California, just move. Doesn't need to be job related. Don't you pay someone to help with these decisions?

                              U know I love u though.

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