Making a change when you're comfortable

[bikesandbeer]

Well I put in my notice and will be starting a new job this fall. Better location, little raise, go down to one home, better activities. A little gut wrenching but I’m think we would have serious regrets if we passed the opportunity up!

[StarTrekDoc]

Thanks all for the replies and thoughts!

As I said, it's certainly been on our minds for a while now. Aside from changing jobs, we would be moving away from grandparents that we see quite frequently. Honestly, if the grandparents said they would move with us we would be packing up our bags! We're not naïve enough to think that we would be perfectly fine without the grandparents helping us out like they currently do. We would feel a lot of guilt moving the grandkids away from them but they keep saying we need to do what we feel is best...it's created quite the dilemma for us! In an ideal world we would move and find a place with an in-law suite.

I sincerely appreciate everyone's response as there were some thought provoking comments!

We left the comforts of Bay Area with 2siblings, 2 sets of grandparents and 4 cousins for San Diego.

Both sets of Grandparents ended following a few years later.

we definitely missed their hands and support and simply exposure to grandkids during those years and glad they came down. Very hard choices. All being correct. Sometimes it comes down to the gut feeling on what's right for the fam.

[Ozarka]

Thanks all for the replies and thoughts!

As I said, it's certainly been on our minds for a while now. Aside from changing jobs, we would be moving away from grandparents that we see quite frequently. Honestly, if the grandparents said they would move with us we would be packing up our bags! We're not naïve enough to think that we would be perfectly fine without the grandparents helping us out like they currently do. We would feel a lot of guilt moving the grandkids away from them but they keep saying we need to do what we feel is best...it's created quite the dilemma for us! In an ideal world we would move and find a place with an in-law suite.

I sincerely appreciate everyone's response as there were some thought provoking comments!

[jfoxcpacfp]

I am super surprised we are in a position where we have a decent job that pays well near family. And now another offer in a dream area for us that pays even a little better. Starting a new practice is a little daunting but I know I can do it again. Hardest decision is just disrupting kids with a move. We have family in that area as well, just away from the parents. It’s about 3 hours away. Did not expect this after finishing residency. It’s such a personal decision that it’s hard to ask people advice. Lucky to have options but this has been a tough decision for sure. Definitely not SLC though

It appears that either choice will have an element of “known” advantage and disadvantage. This is between you and your spouse only, not what outsiders tell/want you to do. You have to make the decision you believe is best for your family and accept there is an element of faith involved. 10 years from now, when you look back, you just need to be able to tell yourselves you did this in good faith and using the info you had at your disposal at the time. There is no way you can know today what the results will be, so you have to decide what to do based the facts at your disposal (honestly, kind of like tax decisions that will impact your future). Good luck to you.

[bikesandbeer]

I am super surprised we are in a position where we have a decent job that pays well near family. And now another offer in a dream area for us that pays even a little better. Starting a new practice is a little daunting but I know I can do it again. Hardest decision is just disrupting kids with a move. We have family in that area as well, just away from the parents. It’s about 3 hours away. Did not expect this after finishing residency. It’s such a personal decision that it’s hard to ask people advice. Lucky to have options but this has been a tough decision for sure. Definitely not SLC though

[The White Coat Investor]

No. Don't move to Salt Lake. We're already full.

[lakeswim]

In 2020, we picked up and moved with our two young children. We moved to an "outdoorsy" college town across the country that I had been to exactly once before for a wedding. My husband had a job opportunity here, and he had a couple close friends who lived in town and encouraged us to come.

I'd say it has been a mixed bag. Not having family nearby has been hard. It's a six hour drive to see grandparents, cousins, etc. No one ever comes to see us, and we get guilt-tripped when we don't go see them. So for the most part, with three kids under 5, we stay put. It's a lovely place to live, with lots to do outside, but for me I often wish we were closer to family since daily life is such a grind. It would be nice to be closer to family.

All that said, I don't regret making the move. It's good to know what's out there.

[StarTrekDoc]

I were your parents, I would say go, but then would follow you to be near the grandkids. Is that too stalky?

Exactly what our two sets of parents did.

Disclaimer.... The destination was San Diego and plenty of family and friends here already

[burritos]

I were your parents, I would say go, but then would follow you to be near the grandkids. Is that too stalky?

[jfoxcpacfp]

Ozarka, this has been an interesting thread you started and I hope you will keep us posted on your decision-making process and whether the grandparents cut you out of their wills if you move. You may start a trend like StarTrekDoc, who knows?

[bikesandbeer]

In the SAME. EXACT. SPOT as you! Comfortable but blah area near family. 4 years into first job. Job available about 3 hours away. Same or better pay, less call, more fun place to live. Financially much better for us due to moving into our cottage and selling bigger primary home. Kids are young. We’re gonna do it. I think we would regret not doing it more than doing it. Wasn’t looking for a new job but hard to pass up! Good luck!

[Random1]

In all reality, your day to day life will probably be the same. Go to work, play with the kids , soccer practice ...

The question is whether or not , the new surroundings and weekend activities will make a difference and if that is what you are looking for , by giving up the comfort of "home" and being around extended family. If you need a new adventure in life , do it while you are young.

[Tim]

https://poets.org/poem/road-not-taken

Make whatever opportunities you want happen. You can only choose one path.

[Zzyzx]

counterpoint - never leave a good job, especially in a weakening economy with hiring on hold and layoffs coming

[Kamban]

To sum it up, we could continue doing what we're doing for the rest of our lives and be perfectly fine. We're comfortable, but not exactly happy with where we live. As I said, we were born and raised here. It's served us well but we always think about how we would want a different childhood for our children than what we had. To put it simply, there's just not much to do here. We've also had things happen in our lives that have made us re-evaluate our priorities.

I would say move. Never let life lead you to a spot where you have regrets later on.

I made one of the longest moves moves of the forum members. After finishing my med school, internship and a 3 year post graduation in internal medicine in India I had a great job offer that was offered out of nowhere. But at 26 I had been at the same small town for about 10 years. It felt like I had become the proverbial "frog in the well" who thinks the whole world is what he can see. I decided to break the chain and jump out before I became a middle aged, disillusioned, cynical crusty man.

So one day I converted my hard earned Indian Rupees to British pound sterling and applied to British medical Board for their entrance exam. And got a one way ticket to London. Studied for the exam and took the plunge. The worst case scenario - the old job would still be there even if my pocket were a few thousand rupees lighter. I also converted a few thousand rupees to US$ to take and FMGEMS in case USA was in my future..

Luckily I cleared PLAB in my first attempt and passed the UK exams and enjoyed my time in Britain. Unfortunately the pyramidal structure of their medical training meant I might have to settle for a glorified NP like job. My ego would not allow that and I came to USA to do a fellowship. Heck, if it failed I could always go back to India. But I have succeeded here and am now in the sunny SE part of the country. I am glad I took chances.

Better to have set sail and not discovered anything than live with regret of not sailing at all.