Flying across country to take your teen to meet an online friend?

[Kamban]

Strong consideration to delete that post and don't share this with any future date or any random strangers either?

I think he is happily married now.

[burritos]

Parenting isn’t easy. My kids are young but I do spend a lot of time thinking about how their interpersonal skills are/wool be affected by the screen time, texting, etc. I don’t have any answers. We are pretty strict right now with gaming and no phones and internet filters, but I imagine that the pressure Will be greater as they get older and it will become more difficult to navigate.

My parents (mother in particular) did not allow me to call boys. I had to wait for them to call me. never understood it. We had no cell phones at that time but I imagine that would have meant no texting boys either? Who knows. my point is that parents just do the best they can do given their experience.

My son was one of the last 2 persons in his 7th grade to get a cell phone.

[resident_1]

This is a good learning point for him. Learn the lesson now (i.e invest time meeting those from your school/church/kids of parents friends), rather than going online to meet someone and when he is 21yo bringing back a girl from Ukraine/Russia/South America who told him anything he wanted to hear to get married and ability to live in America permanently (you would be amazed how many people are desperately trying to get out of their difficult life circumstances in difficult countries). Then dump him in 3 years.

[AR]

My son was one of the last 2 persons in his 7th grade to get a cell phone.

So what you're saying is that this whole thing is your fault?

I'm kidding, BTW. In case that wasn't clear.

[StarTrekDoc]

My son was one of the last 2 persons in his 7th grade to get a cell phone.

I would be curious to hear what your child's friends and cohorts think flying across country to meet a cyber-buddy falls under---cool or crazy? My niece didn't think much of it nor my sister. But they are Con-type folk too a standard deviation from norm already

[Tim]

Was the “privileged” parents using their kid for an amusing weekend getaway?
Living life dreams through their children.
It has been known to happen.
Full disclosure: All parents take pride in the children’s lives to some extent. Can you imagine the feeling if it was a brief encounter then a rude cutoff or getting stood up?

[burritos]

I would be curious to hear what your child's friends and cohorts think flying across country to meet a cyber-buddy falls under---cool or crazy? My niece didn't think much of it nor my sister. But they are Con-type folk too a standard deviation from norm already

He says he hasn't told his buddies at school. He keeps it on the downlow. When he's on with his high school friends they talk like drunken pirates. He's much more civil when with cross country.

[StarTrekDoc]

Manners and language, right?!? 🤪

[burritos]

Manners and language, right?!? 🤪

Well at least the volume is low. So I don't care.

[Timparsons952]

Didn’t read all replies but read that this actually happened. Glad it worked out well but to average American this is crazy for many reasons Not least of which is weird messaging it sends to kids, I assure you

[Dont_know_mind]

It’s great you care so much for your son.
At first I thought I wouldn’t, but thinking about it, I would go to great lengths if I thought my child was on the spectrum. If they are anxious and introverted, what you’re doing may help also. It’s just great that you and his mother are interested in his life.

Gaming and the internet are a valid way to meet people now. But you do have to meet in person.

I tend to think for certain personalities, which can be male and female, they may be better off partnering earlier. Over time, and I include myself, people can become more grumpy and insufferable.

I would suggest you read the book “wired for love” and “wired for dating”. Meeting in person and introducing your potential partner to your parents is I think often a good idea and the book details why.

[burritos]

Didn’t read all replies but read that this actually happened. Glad it worked out well but to average American this is crazy for many reasons Not least of which is weird messaging it sends to kids, I assure you

Yeah, I agree. It's weird. Is it less/more/as weird as, "Hey honey I'm going to fly to Phoenix to meet other online/doctors where we chat up medicine(10%)/money(70%)/rando stuff(20%) of the time. Have I ever met them? Sure, through posts. How often do I check? QD,BID,QID,Qpatient,QoXrayread, I'm FIRE'd so I can do qhourly,etc....

[Nysoz]

I guess the biggest difference for me is that we’re all adults capable of making our own decisions and financing them.

We have enough life experience to approach things with enough caution and skepticism for the most part.

The biggest concerns for me are the age, different country, inability to finance the trip themselves, any possible romantic component.

[StarTrekDoc]

Yeah, I agree. It's weird. Is it less/more/as weird as, "Hey honey I'm going to fly to Phoenix to meet other online/doctors where we chat up medicine(10%)/money(70%)/rando stuff(20%) of the time. Have I ever met them? Sure, through posts. How often do I check? QD,BID,QID,Qpatient,QoXrayread, I'm FIRE'd so I can do qhourly,etc....

This

[StarTrekDoc]

I guess the biggest difference for me is that we’re all adults capable of making our own decisions and financing them.

We have enough life experience to approach things with enough caution and skepticism for the most part.

The biggest concerns for me are the age, different country, inability to finance the trip themselves, any possible romantic component.

We also didn't grow up online and live online....instead the mall was our hangout and social outlet. Very different world out there. I do wonder how online dating works and how often meetups are not local?

First world problems. Again OP has the funds and the moments notice lifestyle of on a whim is typical MO for the family, so this going cross country for a getaway does not appear that far outside their comfort zone.

I do wonder what the daughters parents think and how much contact with OP is happening. That is where at least getting on the same page is essential IMHO.