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Tiger parents: what job do you want your kid to end up doing?

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  • #31
    Amazing that you think raising a male in this day and age, in particular a white one, confers an advantage or privilege.


    • #32

      Amazing that you think raising a male in this day and age, in particular a white one, confers an advantage or privilege.
      Click to expand...

      I'm at least as amazed that you think it doesn't.   It's not as big an advantage as it once was.  I'll give you that.


      • #33

        Success is very subjective.  I wish my kids to be happy well adjusted adults and whatever job makes them happy as long as they aren’t hurting someone like a hired killer or something like that.

        For conventional success , from what I’ve seen your parents money and connections are about 1,000 times more important than which college you go to.
        Click to expand…

        and hard work is 1000x more important than that stuff.
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        Is it really though?  I can think of plenty of people who work very hard, who aren't that successful.  And many who don't work hard at all, but have done well because of money/connections.

        It's really difficult to beat someone who is really rich and connected with hard work alone.

        I think they're both important, and if you want to quibble over whether one is a little more important than the other, have at it.  But stuff like 1000x (which I realize is not meant to be taken literally) doesn't really reflect the reality that I have experienced.


        • #34
          Yeah, totally agree. Far easier to be rich and connected than to work hard.

          The higher you get, the more painfully obvious it becomes. Someone gets into residency because their dads friends with division chief, or as is super common in finance run a hedge fund because the families were friends, etc....

          This is how the world is run. What have the Trump kids done, including the President? Born to wealth and connections, that's it. Paris Hilton, Kushner who bought his way into Harvard? You could just start listing kids from all the rich or connected families in America and it becomes pretty obvious.

          I'd have loved to believe it was smarts and hard work having come from a poor background, but after you run out of standardized tests and ot becomes a handshake and a network world, it becomes much more clear.


          • #35
            GPA-SAT’s, GPA-MCAT’s, CV-applications:

            Can anyone provide advice of education or career paths that have programs or consider white males need assistance? I mean, even in Congress, not one thing is done. Women’s Caucus and Black Caucus, and even asking for a date seems out of reach. Middle class white males have a hard time competing. No hook or compelling story or box to check. Actually, that’s the way it should be. It’s called equal opportunity. No special protections or advantages either.


            • #36
              It's not equal opportunity to have no hook or compelling story when the other people do have one.

              Even starting to see this with Asians and Harvard now. It's not a problem when it happens to white people but anyone else and we are up in arms.


              • #37

                Amazing that you think raising a male in this day and age, in particular a white one, confers an advantage or privilege.
                Click to expand…

                I’m at least as amazed that you think it doesn’t.   It’s not as big an advantage as it once was.  I’ll give you that.
                Click to expand...

                Well, let's see the various ways males in particular seem to be at a disadvantage these days:

                -They are now expected to have worse education that their fathers
                -Males have lower and declining survival rates, in part due to higher suicide rates and accidental deaths
                -A society that clearly hasn't catered to or addressed male deficiencies as evidenced by a higher incarceration rate and over 9:1 M:F prison ratio (also show me the last mass shooter who was female)
                -Marked increase in the lack of fathers in the home over the last 50 years, which puts males at a particular disadvantage and affects some of the above statistics
                -Male teacher deprivation in school, which has been shown to affect performance (OECD did a study showing boys were 1/3 more likely to be graded higher on a reading test when the teacher didn't know the pupil was a boy, for example)
                -Actual performance gaps compared to girls in reading and math in developed countries (lower GPAs and more likely to flunk these subjects)
                -Lower high school graduation rates
                -Lower college entrance and graduation rates
                -Far less governmental support for males at the lower socioeconomic end of the spectrum
                -Zero programs focusing on boosting their performance in specific areas (STEM, for example), unlike their counterparts
                -No governmental programs to support male-owned businesses, unlike their counterparts
                -Lives can be destroyed by simple accusations of sexual wrong-doing while no equivalent exists for the other side
                -No college or job is seeking them out or designing quota systems for them, unlike their counterparts
                -They have to constantly be reminded that their "toxic masculinity" is the problem in society, or that the "white patriarchy" is to blame for everyone's lot in life
                -They need to score higher on standardized tests to attain the same college/grad school acceptance as minority counterparts (for white males)
                -Males no longer have a preference advantage to girls as it pertains to having a child (this is good IMO but shows any inherent preference prior to birth no longer exists)

                Some of these issues were highlighted by a (liberal) female writer back in 2000:


                Yet things have gotten worse and/or continued for boys.  This is not to say girls don't have some apparent disadvantages these days, but I think it's a laughable stretch to say that being a boy these days confers an advantage.  And spare me the broad wage statistics.  After controlling for various factors this wage gap nearly vanishes.  The aspect that doesn't vanish in the studies that have looked at this need looking into and *may* support a wage gap difference based on sex alone.


                • #38
                  What a crock ent doc. Just galling.

                  Wish there was an ignore feature in this forum.


                  • #39
                    I think your point of view on this and most things is pretty laughable.

                    Feel free to hide your bigotry behind long paragraphs and pretty words. We see you.


                    • #40
                      Panscan, a gun locked in a safe is no problem. The conversation may also serve to remind a gunowner that not everyone has the same experience as him and the need for excess caution if our kids or similar are around. Same as if we had a pool and a mother asked us how we maintianed pool safety for her non swimming child. We would not take offense and in fact would be pleased with her concern and involvement.


                      • #41

                        I think your point of view on this and most things is pretty laughable.

                        Feel free to hide your bigotry behind long paragraphs and pretty words. We see you.
                        Click to expand...

                        Feel free to take apart an argument presented by anybody on this forum - I've received my share and that's part of the public discourse nature of a forum. Please, though, no personal attacks.
                        Our passion is protecting clients and others from predatory and ignorant advisors. Fox & Co CPAs, Fox & Co Wealth Mgmt. 270-247-6087


                        • #42
                          Actually we have a written contract about screens that our kids have signed and we share with our sleepover guests. Our children are responsible for having their friends read and know the rules and our children know they would suffer the consequences if their friends violate the rules. So, it's a self governing system and we don't have any problems.


                          • #43
                            “Males no longer have a preference advantage to girls as it pertains to having a child ”.
                            One unintended consequence of this the role my wife and daughter have assumed in educating my son.
                            The “Baby Trap Lecture” was and is a required course with continuing education needed. For some reason they seem to be of the opinion that occasionally females might use deceptive tactics. Could be just an old wives tale. I try to ignore the conversation once “skanky” pops up.


                            • #44
                              Its interesting how your wife and daughter are the ones who feel that is a lesson worth teaching, seems to me that solidifies it's reality.

                              Fair enough fireshrink!

                              Eagle eyes its weird someone lays out a very statistical and logically based argument and your response to that is to call them names, to have no actual refutation of their argument and to say they should be ignored. A common tactic seen amongst SJW.. if someone is saying something so horrible, wouldn't you want other people to see it, so they can decide for themselves that it's wrong? The fact SJWs seek to silence so many shows the validity of those ideas trying to be silenced.


                              • #45
                                Your use of the word “bigotry” is a personal attack. My wife happens to agree with virtually every statement made. That doesn’t mean she isn’t a first generation immigrant from an underserved population that faced many disadvantages. Please don’t call her a bigot.
                                I find it helps focus on the issues, rather that a “one word response”. Peace be with you.
                                I would be interested in your thoughts about the difference between equal opportunity and equal results.
                                Have a great holiday season.