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Why you might need to bake another $170k* into your retirement nest egg

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  • CM
    replied




    Is this more an issue with today’s kids and young adults ? I made money starting in junior high and high school. The idea of mooching off parents never entered my mind.
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    I think so. See earlier post, "Free Range Kids, and Helicopter Parents."

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  • q-school
    replied
    When you have multiple kids you start to realize they all have their own personalities and motivations. Your ability to influence them is not as great as you imagine prior to parenting.



    Ymmv

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  • Miss Bonnie MD
    replied
    Is this more an issue with today's kids and young adults ? I made money starting in junior high and high school. The idea of mooching off parents never entered my mind.

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  • VagabondMD
    replied
    While I can sit here and say that, in the future, I will not pay for this or that, when confronted with a situation with my future adult child that needs my financial help, I cannot say that I will have the same resolve. I know this because I see responsible, prudent, and well-meaning parents pay for things for their adult children that I bet that they never imagined or planned on paying for, either. In the abstract, it is a no-brainer. In real life, well, we will see.

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  • Craigy
    replied
    I love my son and hope to have more children, but the thought of having kids still living with me well into their 20s sounds horrible.  I'd love to help them out from time to time, but only as unsolicited gifts and not because they can't pay for things themselves.  But realistically I don't think it's reasonable to expect the expense to stop at 18 or 22.  I see my parents ruining one of my siblings and keep telling myself I won't do that to my kids, but who knows if I'll actually follow through on my promises to my older self.   :lol:

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  • Hatton
    replied
    Zaphod I guess you read the Millionaire Next Door that talks about the harm you can cause by bailing out kids too much.

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  • Zaphod
    replied
    I just cant see myself giving a bunch of money to the kids in their adult life. Sure, of course I will keep them out of the homeless shelter but is this money really going to things that are absolutely necessary or just simply given? At some point you're contributing to their inability to care for themselves and make good decisions by being a fail safe. Lots of good lessons they can learn from this, whats an actual necessity, where and how to live, education and subsequent job importance, etc....

    If I start supporting adult children (I do have one) the money will not be a gift and would require considerable input and latitude with their life choices for me, etc...I certainly wouldnt let my parents have that kind of say, and hope neither would mine. Obviously would try to make the whole thing unappealing.

    Things I would support are education, job searches, and basically anything that is a need to further them in a self sustaining life going forward. That could be taken to an extreme Im sure...but beyond that, self sufficiency.

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  • Hatton
    replied
    It is much harder to teach fiscal restraint and investing skills than to just give bailout funds.

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  • White.Beard.Doc
    replied
    One of the best ways to help kids grow up is to allow them to struggle.  When you love someone very much, giving them too much is often the easier path.  It takes strength, wisdom and a deeper form of love to do the right thing and watch them struggle.  The life lessons they learn can be a far greater gift than the easy way out, giving them money.

    If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, he may eat for a lifetime....

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  • SValleyMD
    replied
    This is the main reason I don't think I'll ever completely feel comfortable pulling the trigger on the RI component. I have three girls (so far) and in my religion (Mormon) most women are stay-at-homes so their financial future is significantly and often solely determined by their random spouses..

    I'm not here to support them in their adult lives but I want to be their emergency fund and make sure they have vacations, pay for grandkids schooling, etc..

    It's hard hitting the number I'm hitting now but in my specialty I could cake walk to 3-400k so I don't think I'll be able to walk away from that earning power (obviously that can change too).

    But we'll see. The beauty of this site has taught me the importance of FI where I'll hopefully be able to have options when that time comes- but this is definitely something that factors into my future planning

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  • HandFellow
    replied
    Talking with my father yesterday, he offered to buy me a riding lawn mower that i never asked for and likely don't need. Plus the expenses for a new couch as a gift.  This in addition to some other nice things over the past year, most of which have been voluntary.  He does this for all his children just out of generosity and not necessarily need.  I guess that's step 6 and then some.

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  • VagabondMD
    replied





    The cost of kids (and “adult kids”) is probably the second biggest unknown expense after healthcare costs for most of us aspiring early retirees. Overshooting the 25x FI target with an extra year or three is probably a good idea unless you can’t stand your job. 
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    I feel like there’s a point where when you keep adding on the potential for unexpected costs, unless your FI date is at PoF levels (a small small minority), you’re just going to work until you’re 65 anyway to be able to cover the “unexpected” costs.
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    Maybe that's why lots of folks work until 65 (or beyond). Between the surprises and the unknowns, it's never safe to not work. It's gonna take a mighty strong finger to pull the FIRE trigger.

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  • RogueDadMD
    replied


    The cost of kids (and “adult kids”) is probably the second biggest unknown expense after healthcare costs for most of us aspiring early retirees. Overshooting the 25x FI target with an extra year or three is probably a good idea unless you can’t stand your job.
    Click to expand...


    I feel like there's a point where when you keep adding on the potential for unexpected costs, unless your FI date is at PoF levels (a small small minority), you're just going to work until you're 65 anyway to be able to cover the "unexpected" costs.

    Leave a comment:


  • PhysicianOnFIRE
    replied


    Somewhat of an offshoot from a blog posted elsewhere , in which there was some discussion of the unexpected costs of raising children
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    You mean this one, by Vagabond MD?

    Thought so.

    The cost of kids (and "adult kids") is probably the second biggest unknown expense after healthcare costs for most of us aspiring early retirees. Overshooting the 25x FI target with an extra year or three is probably a good idea unless you can't stand your job.

    Leave a comment:


  • q-school
    replied




    This is something I worry quite a bit about.  My kids are way to young for me to have any specific concerns yet, I just know it’s a fairly common issue and I want to be prepared if the need arises.  Also I’ve got healthy aging parents who aren’t that well off to think about.  Those things push the number I need to retire way up.
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    me too!

    i tell my kids every day i will pick their spouse for them since i'm going to be spending much more time around the spouse than they will.   also because i have to be sure they can take care of my own diapers.  don't want anyone dainty.

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