Childcare Costs - Is everyone paying this much?!?

[F0017S0]

2 Surgical subspecialists. 3 Kids. I would say we live in a MCOL-HCOL area (New england but not near Boston or NYC). Those costs are almost identical to ours. Would agree with what most others have said, just the cost of doing business.

I'm hoping to negotiate and cut costs back once kids get older. Our nanny is amazing and worth her weight in gold. But my wife and I also work very hard to be good employers. I'm hoping goodwill on both sides will lead to reasonable cost cuts once children start reaching school age and her responsibilities decrease. Hopefully she will be willing to accept pay cut for less work but a good reliable job/kind employers.

What do you do if your nanny won’t accept a reasonable cost cut? Go back onto the open market or maybe have the oldest help out with care duties (commensurate with age, of course)?

[sealion1]

What do you do if your nanny won’t accept a reasonable cost cut? Go back onto the open market or maybe have the oldest help out with care duties (commensurate with age, of course)?

Probably depends on the exact situation. If feasible, then we may just switch to having some family help and after school programs. If not feasible, we'd probably keep but then transition to the above situation as quickly as possible.

A reliable nanny who knows your family and kids is too valuable to give up over nickels and dimes.

But for her, it may mean instead of earning 70K, 65K, 60K, 55K over the next 4 years commiserate with fewer responsibilities and more downtime during the day, she'll earn 70K for next 2 years then have to find new employment when we make an earlier transition. Which may start her at a lower salary with less kind employers anyways.

[Turf Doc]

The sheer magnitude of a single, early life line item of early childhood eclipses the median income for the entire country. That is mind boggling, to say the least. For OP, yes, it doesn’t really “matter” (financially) the large cost because it keeps OP and spouse in the high income jobs longer. Absolutely brutal, nevertheless…

As WCI said earlier in the thread, it seems like it either makes sense to pay it out and earn at a higher level or one spouse effectively takes a 70k post-tax "job" staying at home. So i guess theres always one option that makes sense?

[CordMcNally]

As WCI said earlier in the thread, it seems like it either makes sense to pay it out and earn at a higher level or one spouse effectively takes a 70k post-tax "job" staying at home. So i guess theres always one option that makes sense?

Or you can have a good old-fashioned farm and expand your operations as you put your children to work. Win, win.

[Tim]

What do you do if your nanny won’t accept a reasonable cost cut? Go back onto the open market or maybe have the oldest help out with care duties (commensurate with age, of course)?

Actually, spouse became SAH until the oldest could drive. The reason was not that even though childcare need decreased, the kids school and activities increased. Very formative years.
Money wise, she decided it was worth investing time in her kids. Our daycare was free! She worked until she thought her aunt wasn’t capable.
Family decision, not just money. OP can afford it.
My guess is the “nanny” would be willing to take on more things. House manager, property manager, cooking and shopping etc. Much of that depends on her family situation. WBD’s nanny is still hanging around and he has grandchildren.

[F0017S0]

Actually, spouse became SAH until the oldest could drive. The reason was not that even though childcare need decreased, the kids school and activities increased. Very formative years.
Money wise, she decided it was worth investing time in her kids. Our daycare was free! She worked until she thought her aunt wasn’t capable.
Family decision, not just money. OP can afford it.
My guess is the “nanny” would be willing to take on more things. House manager, property manager, cooking and shopping etc. Much of that depends on her family situation. WBD’s nanny is still hanging around and he has grandchildren.

Fair. I don’t mean to come across as critical of anyone’s decision. Tough to make work for a lot of families, but yes, OP has the math on their side to make to worthwhile.

[Marko-ER]

VLCOL area, and we pay just under 10K for 2 kids in daycare, typically 8AM-4:30PM. We are uber-lucky to have gotten a spot in a non-profit that is partly subsidized by grants from the state and partly by donations. And we give generous end of year tip and donate to the non-profit for this and other causes them sponsor in order to give back. Thinking about an Au-pair or (more likely) a distant relative like a second-cousin to come in for a year to do community college and help with language skills (a 2-way street) on the side.

[lakeswim]

HCOL area and we pay our nanny $26/hour plus a stipend for health insurance. We guarantee forty hours even though she only works thirty. She's not a great nanny (does no child-related household tasks), but she always shows up for work, and we need her as back-up for when one of our three kids is sick. Overall we probably spend $100,000 year on childcare/school. No family help ever. The surviving grandparents have no interest.

We're planning to move later this year to get a better set-up for an au pair and send all kids to public school when they're old enough. We just cannot afford our current situation with our combined income ($300,000 a year; I work part-time since spouse has a low-paying but demanding job).

Yes, I feel like the childcare expenses are absolutely nuts. Public school is now our top priority because I think we will need a nanny or au pair indefinitely to make things work without any family help.

[JWeb]

I'm hoping to negotiate and cut costs back once kids get older. Our nanny is amazing and worth her weight in gold. But my wife and I also work very hard to be good employers. I'm hoping goodwill on both sides will lead to reasonable cost cuts once children start reaching school age and her responsibilities decrease. Hopefully she will be willing to accept pay cut for less work but a good reliable job/kind employers.

Are you willing to take a paycut?

If you cut her income even for reduced work, she will start looking for another job that pays the same or more. And she'll likely find it. It's probably not worth it to you to cut her salary by $10k, which is nothing to you, but a lot to her. And as you said above, "our nanny is worth her weight in gold." So either she weighs nothing or you don't know how much gold is worth.

[sealion1]

Are you willing to take a paycut?

If you cut her income even for reduced work, she will start looking for another job that pays the same or more. And she'll likely find it. It's probably not worth it to you to cut her salary by $10k, which is nothing to you, but a lot to her. And as you said above, "our nanny is worth her weight in gold." So either she weighs nothing or you don't know how much gold is worth.

I didnt start the thread, so I'm in a different situation than the OP

I'm envisioning a situation for myself where all the kids are in school. Is it worth paying 70K for someone who really just helps us get the kids to school, watches them for 1-2 hrs after school, and gives us some added flexibility? I'm not sure.

Would she be willing to take a 20K paycut if her job changes from full on 3 toddlers for 9 hrs/day to 3hrs a day of work then spending the rest of the time sitting around in a nice house? Maybe?

[wideopenspaces]

Or you can have a good old-fashioned farm and expand your operations as you put your children to work. Win, win.

I prefer sending my children to the mines so I don't have to supervise them or otherwise be around them all day.

[wideopenspaces]

I didnt start the thread, so I'm in a different situation than the OP

I'm envisioning a situation for myself where all the kids are in school. Is it worth paying 70K for someone who really just helps us get the kids to school, watches them for 1-2 hrs after school, and gives us some added flexibility? I'm not sure.

Would she be willing to take a 20K paycut if her job changes from full on 3 toddlers for 9 hrs/day to 3hrs a day of work then spending the rest of the time sitting around in a nice house? Maybe?

I mean you can try that but I wouldn't expect her to stay. I doubt she's living the high life on 70k. That's why we just continued paying our nanny her usual salary this year when our youngest started K. I wouldn't expect her to continue working for us if we could only offer her a part time salary for part time work. I think what you'll discover is that the folks willing to do part time work aren't nearly as good as the ones doing it full time. That's what we found over the years. Maybe it'll work fine for y'all but I would have some back up plans prepared just in case.

[F0017S0]

I prefer sending my children to the mines so I don't have to supervise them or otherwise be around them all day.

There’s a great iron mining operation in the Michigan UP; great place for kiddos to cut their chops doing real labor. Or perhaps the timber industry is more to their acculturation?

[JWeb]

I didnt start the thread, so I'm in a different situation than the OP

I'm envisioning a situation for myself where all the kids are in school. Is it worth paying 70K for someone who really just helps us get the kids to school, watches them for 1-2 hrs after school, and gives us some added flexibility? I'm not sure.

Would she be willing to take a 20K paycut if her job changes from full on 3 toddlers for 9 hrs/day to 3hrs a day of work then spending the rest of the time sitting around in a nice house? Maybe?

Maybe. Maybe not. You'll still need someone for those hours you just mentioned. And in the summer. And winter break. And the snow days. And the multitude random days off the school gives the kids. And if one of your kids is sick. And by the time you've found someone to do all of that, you're barely saving any money, it's a much bigger headache, and you likely don't have someone near as good as you have now. . .

Our nanny was worried we were going to consider paying her less next August when our youngest goes to preschool for 6 hours a week. We chuckled, and were like, heck no.

[OldSoul]

HeyAnesthesia . Some folk childcare is 50%+ and could take up much of discretionary spend. Kids by far are more expensive than anything...even mortgage in many cases.

Just wait until they go to college. StarTrekDoc is fortunate to live in a state with awesome public universities, where tuition is semi-reasonable. Doctors, whose offspring manage to get into Ivy League or top-25 liberal arts colleges, are looking at 80K/year for tuition, room and board. There won't be merit aid for students at these schools. And, it's gonna just keep increasing.