Just a comment that the community here is awesome. Obviously, I can’t address what you’re going through from a personal perspective, but can imagine how much better it is to be able to share with others who have been in your shoes. The common thread that seems to run through the responses is to spend purposefully. Have a plan, such the excel spreadsheet mentioned above, to track current spending and name where those future dollars will go. Doing so will give you perspective beyond what you’re spending and saving at the moment and will help to alleviate that “out of control” feeling. Also important, I think, is to make it a joint project with your spouse, monthly budget reviews, etc.
I 100% agree; I am always amazed by this community. It makes so much easier going through life knowing I can count on all of you to bounce back ideas and get some advice!
Do try to max out the HSA if at all possible as that is a great tax break.
I am looking forward to my next paycheck; I am pretty sure I will be able to max the HSA. The car (I have one 10k loan at 3.9%) will have to wait but maybe in December I can put a dent in it. I'll be happy if I can begin 2018 with only one car payment (the 2.9%).
As someone who moved from a warm climate to a cold one, don’t overdo the winter clothing thing. You are probably inside most of the time so get a few basics (from target not arcteryx); don’t spend a ton on fancy overcoats or boots that are made for an outdoors man. Buy the clothing as you need it; the stores won’t run out. If you end up doing a lot of outdoor winter activities and need to upgrade then you will know what you need.
Great advice about the winter clothes! We have been doing just that. We had the bare minimum moving up here (most things were gift from family members), and we have been purchasing some items as we notice we need them - for example, one of our favorite and mostly free hobbies has been to go hiking. We realized we were gonna lose our toes if we continued to hike in regular sneakers..
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