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Looking for perspective: Should I leave a high paying job?

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  • #16
    Forget about family for a moment. Look at your after tax income in both locations. Still $300k difference? Do you think it’s sustainable to keep picking up call shifts, either because of market forces or lack of desire? In other words, how realistic or permanent are the $ difference assumptions? Then look at spending and COL in the two areas. Then see how much you’ll actually be able to save in each location. Then consider family and see if that after tax saving difference (if still present) is worth moving for.

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    • #17
      Thanks all for the feedback. To address a few questions...

      - With crazy call the difference is 800k to 500k. With less crazy call it would be more like 650k to 500k. Whatever my wife earns will be icing on the cake as we live on far less than we make.
      - The call is a mixed bag but generally not too bad. Some very late nights mixed in with no hitters but always the constant need to keep the phone on and scrubs in the trunk.
      - Home is where I did residency and I have rotated at a majority of the hospitals in the area so I know the systems and people well. I have good friends from residency that work in these practices that can vouch for their culture, stability, fairness, work-life balance etc.
      - We don't have a specific number in mind as we generally just spend on what is important to us and save the rest which has resulted in our current nest egg.
      - We would be moving from a 3h flight to about 30 min drive away from both families. Close enough for child care, far enough that "traffic" may prevent us from having to go to a family dinner every night
      - We could be content here as well: People are great, weather is nice, food is good and I do mostly like the work.
      - If my wife didn't match here, no I would not move to this location for this job.

      But to answer the main question: What I really want to do is go fishing with my dad/brothers, take my mom on random lunch dates, and go camping with my college buddies. It's just hard to think about leaving money on the table when the opportunity to make more is there.

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      • #18
        You guys will make far more than you ever need. In 30 years I bet you’d enjoy memories of those fishing trips or lunches with family more than another $1-2M in the bank.

        Now if you want to really hustle and aim to retire super early then that’s a different question.

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        • #19
          How far down the line for kids? I would say keep on hustling a few more years and move when you plan for kids so that you can be closer. But it is a pain for your wife to start at a practice for 2-3 years just to leave. That would make me insane so it might be best to plan for something that has potential to be long term. Either way you have 2 good choices. Keep up the good work.

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          • #20
            I would probably move with that information.

            However, speaking from experience, don't count on family for childcare. If it works out great, if it doesn't, you can have hard feelings.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by supersonics View Post
              Thanks all for the feedback. To address a few questions...

              - With crazy call the difference is 800k to 500k. With less crazy call it would be more like 650k to 500k. Whatever my wife earns will be icing on the cake as we live on far less than we make.
              - The call is a mixed bag but generally not too bad. Some very late nights mixed in with no hitters but always the constant need to keep the phone on and scrubs in the trunk.
              - Home is where I did residency and I have rotated at a majority of the hospitals in the area so I know the systems and people well. I have good friends from residency that work in these practices that can vouch for their culture, stability, fairness, work-life balance etc.
              - We don't have a specific number in mind as we generally just spend on what is important to us and save the rest which has resulted in our current nest egg.
              - We would be moving from a 3h flight to about 30 min drive away from both families. Close enough for child care, far enough that "traffic" may prevent us from having to go to a family dinner every night
              - We could be content here as well: People are great, weather is nice, food is good and I do mostly like the work.
              - If my wife didn't match here, no I would not move to this location for this job.

              But to answer the main question: What I really want to do is go fishing with my dad/brothers, take my mom on random lunch dates, and go camping with my college buddies. It's just hard to think about leaving money on the table when the opportunity to make more is there.
              I think your last sentence summed it up in my opinion. If it's me then I'm heading back home to do all those things that'll fulfill your personal life. It sounds like both of you are great savers, so yes while the decrease in income isn't ideal, you 2 will be just fine. 30 years from now are you going to be more upset that your already well-established financial position isn't even more so or that you weren't able to make those fishing trips with your dad & brothers, lunch dates with mom, or camping trips because you were too busy chasing the money?

              Again, if it's me and my financial house is in order/on a good path, then I'm choosing to enjoy life and create memories with the ones I care the most about...everytime. There's only so many fishing trips and lunch date opportunities out there.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by supersonics View Post
                But to answer the main question: What I really want to do is go fishing with my dad/brothers, take my mom on random lunch dates, and go camping with my college buddies. It's just hard to think about leaving money on the table when the opportunity to make more is there.
                You just answered the question right? It seems like an easy one. Why would you pass up the life you want to earn more money you don't really need?

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                • #23
                  based on your last post, you'll regret missing the time >> missing out on more money. You identified your priorities in your answer. Better to make that choice before its too late.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by billy View Post
                    based on your last post, you'll regret missing the time >> missing out on more money. You identified your priorities in your answer. Better to make that choice before its too late.
                    At a sustainable pace, the comp difference is not $150k, it’s $97.5 after tax. Your comfort level with the comp, job and location are far superior.
                    Ain’t no doubt about it.
                    Certainly don’t see a burning desire or need to keep cranking extra shifts. With a two doc family, there is not much debate.
                    The only possibility is if you have a sudden change of heart and really miss working extra shifts? Move.

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                    • #25
                      So, many years ago, I was faced with the same decision. We spoke with our family, and I took the job away from them that I liked much better that also paid better. Plus the state is lower tax and cost of living, though I did not consider that at the time.

                      20 y later, I still on my first job, made much more than I could have close to family, and I still like the practice and my partners. Some of our family moved to town and others are still in driving distance.

                      so there are many more permutations here.

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                      • #26
                        Life's short, go fishing.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by supersonics View Post
                          Thanks all for the feedback. To address a few questions...

                          - With crazy call the difference is 800k to 500k. With less crazy call it would be more like 650k to 500k. Whatever my wife earns will be icing on the cake as we live on far less than we make.
                          - The call is a mixed bag but generally not too bad. Some very late nights mixed in with no hitters but always the constant need to keep the phone on and scrubs in the trunk.
                          - Home is where I did residency and I have rotated at a majority of the hospitals in the area so I know the systems and people well. I have good friends from residency that work in these practices that can vouch for their culture, stability, fairness, work-life balance etc.
                          - We don't have a specific number in mind as we generally just spend on what is important to us and save the rest which has resulted in our current nest egg.
                          - We would be moving from a 3h flight to about 30 min drive away from both families. Close enough for child care, far enough that "traffic" may prevent us from having to go to a family dinner every night
                          - We could be content here as well: People are great, weather is nice, food is good and I do mostly like the work.
                          - If my wife didn't match here, no I would not move to this location for this job.

                          But to answer the main question: What I really want to do is go fishing with my dad/brothers, take my mom on random lunch dates, and go camping with my college buddies. It's just hard to think about leaving money on the table when the opportunity to make more is there.
                          No brainer to move

                          Comment


                          • #28

                            You are a young person thinking like a young person. You are wise to seek counsel from some older and hopefully wiser folks here.

                            We lost my dad a couple of years ago. He was a doc too. He loved us but we never went fishing.

                            I swallowed my pride and restored a garage-find tandem bike for my wife for Mother’s Day. She cried real tears when she found it.
                            We’re going to ride it to my mom’s house for lunch tomorrow.

                            You are asking about the value of time vs. money. There’s no amount of money that makes up for the empty seat at the table.

                            I say go home and live your dreams.
                            I wish you happiness either way.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by supersonics View Post
                              Thanks all for the feedback. To address a few questions...

                              - With crazy call the difference is 800k to 500k. With less crazy call it would be more like 650k to 500k. Whatever my wife earns will be icing on the cake as we live on far less than we make.
                              - The call is a mixed bag but generally not too bad. Some very late nights mixed in with no hitters but always the constant need to keep the phone on and scrubs in the trunk.
                              - Home is where I did residency and I have rotated at a majority of the hospitals in the area so I know the systems and people well. I have good friends from residency that work in these practices that can vouch for their culture, stability, fairness, work-life balance etc.
                              - We don't have a specific number in mind as we generally just spend on what is important to us and save the rest which has resulted in our current nest egg.
                              - We would be moving from a 3h flight to about 30 min drive away from both families. Close enough for child care, far enough that "traffic" may prevent us from having to go to a family dinner every night
                              - We could be content here as well: People are great, weather is nice, food is good and I do mostly like the work.
                              - If my wife didn't match here, no I would not move to this location for this job.

                              But to answer the main question: What I really want to do is go fishing with my dad/brothers, take my mom on random lunch dates, and go camping with my college buddies. It's just hard to think about leaving money on the table when the opportunity to make more is there.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                I think you have already answered your question. Move!

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