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Prenup or no prenup?

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  • Shant
    replied
    Eh some lawyer said to me once that everybody has a prenupt - the default in their jurisdiction - it's just that most of us don't realize it.

    I probably would do a prenup when other people's rights and needs are involved like kids from a prior relationship or a business that can't be easily divided but that's probably it.

    Leave a comment:


  • CM
    replied
    Originally posted by mamaham View Post
    Maybe I’m old fashioned... I’ve never liked the idea of prenups. It says to me “let’s prepare for when we get divorced, I want to make sure I’ve got a clean break and get my money’s worth”.
    I'm not old fashioned, and I think that once you've decided that marriage is not a ridiculous institution, i.e., you've decided that you will promise to stay with someone for life, then you have decided that a prenup is a ridiculous idea. The two are inconsistent with one another.

    Marriage isn't necessary. If you aren't sure you will stay with your significant other forever, then don't declare it to him/her, the world, and the government.

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  • Brains428
    replied
    You get a no maintenance clause in there. I think it has to be shown that the parties both make money and support themselves on said salary prior to marriage. Not sure how it works if someone is in a profession with less steady income (anyone in the gig economy, small business owner, etc).

    As stated above, child support is considered a separate process from the experience I have in MO, TX, SC (only married in MO, but knowledge via family and friends in states that I've lived- my father is a divorce attorney in TX).

    Based on what I've read about prenups in CA and NJ, they seem to be more complex than what I know in MO. Perhaps its just what is written in cases that you can find on page 1 and 2 on Google.

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  • airwhite
    replied
    Originally posted by Brains428 View Post

    I'd say anything towards the end of a career at standard retirement age (so around 60). Dividing assets in half is probably fine. It's the whole "grown accustom to a certain lifestyle," and paying for that, that I have an issue with.
    How would a prenup get you out of this? Have some sort of clause against that? Who would agree to it?

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  • SerrateAndDominate
    replied
    Originally posted by Lordosis View Post

    Does that really happen where one person claims they grew accustomed to a particular lifestyle and demand more then half the assets? I would imagine that would be a tough sell.
    Based on my sister's divorce settlement, yes

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  • VagabondMD
    replied
    Originally posted by Brains428 View Post
    Lordosis - according to 2 of my colleagues. But I've never pried for details.

    A lot of what can happen in a settlement is dependent on the state, in addition to the parties involved. Sadly, no one can really predict how one will act/react during a divorce proceeding. Most people don't go into marriage trying to look at the worst qualities in their partner.
    Gosh, if they did, no one would ever get married!

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  • Brains428
    replied
    Lordosis - according to 2 of my colleagues. But I've never pried for details.

    A lot of what can happen in a settlement is dependent on the state, in addition to the parties involved. Sadly, no one can really predict how one will act/react during a divorce proceeding. Most people don't go into marriage trying to look at the worst qualities in their partner.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lordosis
    replied
    Originally posted by Brains428 View Post

    I'd say anything towards the end of a career at standard retirement age (so around 60). Dividing assets in half is probably fine. It's the whole "grown accustom to a certain lifestyle," and paying for that, that I have an issue with.
    Does that really happen where one person claims they grew accustomed to a particular lifestyle and demand more then half the assets? I would imagine that would be a tough sell.

    Divorce sucks and it hurts both people pretty bad. Everyone is going to have to take a step back on lifestyle afterwards.

    Leave a comment:


  • Brains428
    replied
    Originally posted by Lordosis View Post

    For late divorce do you mean age 50s and 60s? End of career? What solution could there be other then to divide assets in half? Especially if you were together half your life and the vast majority of your career.
    I'd say anything towards the end of a career at standard retirement age (so around 60). Dividing assets in half is probably fine. It's the whole "grown accustom to a certain lifestyle," and paying for that, that I have an issue with.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lordosis
    replied
    Originally posted by Brains428 View Post
    Yes- mostly to protect against indefinite spousal support. This can be written in both directions. Child support can't be written in (and that's a good thing).

    But, the most important thing to do is ask a lawyer about how enforceable they are in your state. The more complex, the more chances you have for it to be thrown out.

    I view a pre-nup as a way to protect against late divorce (which is more likely to ruin a physician financially than anything else).

    If nothing else- I think it might be good to go through the motions of at least discussing assets, liabilities, and financial goals with your partner as if you were getting a pre-nup just to get those conversations going.
    For late divorce do you mean age 50s and 60s? End of career? What solution could there be other then to divide assets in half? Especially if you were together half your life and the vast majority of your career.

    Leave a comment:


  • Brains428
    replied
    Yes- mostly to protect against indefinite spousal support. This can be written in both directions. Child support can't be written in (and that's a good thing).

    But, the most important thing to do is ask a lawyer about how enforceable they are in your state. The more complex, the more chances you have for it to be thrown out.

    I view a pre-nup as a way to protect against late divorce (which is more likely to ruin a physician financially than anything else).

    If nothing else- I think it might be good to go through the motions of at least discussing assets, liabilities, and financial goals with your partner as if you were getting a pre-nup just to get those conversations going.

    Leave a comment:


  • SerrateAndDominate
    replied
    Worth discussing if for no other reason to get it out of the way. I mentioned it to my then fiance as she was finishing dental school as I still had training time left. I just threw it out there as "look, we will both make great money, but there's a lot of divorce in my family so it's worth discussing." we briefly thought it through and both said no to it.

    Doesn't sound like you need one based on info provided. Good luck

    Leave a comment:


  • CordMcNally
    replied
    Originally posted by Molar Mechanic View Post
    Assuming you are both young, then you'd be a fool to suggest a pre-nup. If spouse is pulling $200k at a young age, then their upside potential is probably a lot higher than yours.
    Maybe the spouse is the one wanting the prenup.

    Leave a comment:


  • mamaham
    replied
    Maybe I’m old fashioned... I’ve never liked the idea of prenups. It says to me “let’s prepare for when we get divorced, I want to make sure I’ve got a clean break and get my money’s worth”.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nysoz
    replied
    Originally posted by Lordosis View Post
    1-No.
    2-Yes.
    3-Maybe.
    4-Snarky answer.

    Got to love on line forums. You get what you pay for I guess...


    I vote no. I agree with you that unless there is a large mismatch of assets prior to marriage I do not see the point.
    Poll! Poll! Poll!

    Leave a comment:

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