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How much do you gift for weddings?

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  • How much do you gift for weddings?

    As WCI-reading docs and financially savvy individuals, how much do you gift at weddings?  I'm at that stage of my life when everyone is getting married or having kids, and this year I will be attending multiple weddings not as a student/resident, but as a doctor a few years into practice.  A couple years ago, I would give $100 flat, $200 if I brought a date, maybe more for closer friends, but as people get older and more established, they seem to be spending more and more on their weddings... is more expected of me now since I'm a doctor? Is that fair? I still have loans and want to live "like a resident," but in the long run it is probably better to give, and a few extra thousand bucks won't make a difference, right? Where do you draw the line? Of course, this is a highly individual choice, and depends on how close you are to the person, whether or not you are traveling for the wedding, your geographic area, etc.   Just curious how you all approach this. Thanks in advance!

     

     

  • #2
    $200 for acquaintances. (Including plus 1). 400 for closer friends. I figure $200 covers my cost but doesn’t give any extra, while 400 gives them money in pocket. $500-1000 for family. But I’m getting older now and get fewer and fewer invites because most friends are already married. Good thread. I’m curious about other responses. Our wedding (over the top against my will) was $200/person total cost

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    • #3
      We usually get something off their registry. Usually somewhere between $50-$100.

       

      Also, if they're older and more established, it's likely they need less than someone younger and less established.

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      • #4
        Your job should have nothing to do with how much you spend on a gift. I'm sure as heck not going to buy the most expensive item on someone's registry because they will be able to ballpark my income.

         

        If you're tight, get a personable gift, even if off registry. Cash is always welcome

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        • #5
          I think my wife has a good ROT on this, you want to try to at least match what they are spending per person you bring to the wedding.

          Not a perfect idea and obviously could have some complexities but not a bad place to start.

          So if it's you and your spouse at a lavish event w/ an open bar and a sit down meal I think $200 is your baseline.

          I'm sure that some might read this and balk at the idea of "paying back" for throwing a wedding, that's fine, it's a question of taste nothing more.

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          • #6
            As an established physician I used to do a minimum of $251 per wedding in the past. For close friends we do $501. For immediate family ( nephews/nieces) and sons and daughters of really, really close friends from medical school (just 3-4) I might consider $1001.

            But then I am established and closer to retirement and you are only a few years into your practice so $200-250 might be OK.

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            • #7
              @kaman what is the extra +$1 for? I’m genuinely curious

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              • #8
                I'm guessing he's Indian. I would know as my family and I are punjabi.

                We almost always give cash gifts with a dollar extra. It's auspicious and good lock.

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                • #9
                  This is easy. My parents are from Europe and I'm first generation and we were taught to gift appropriately. All my multiple generation American friends are cheap and don't know how to gift. I've seen gifts of $25-50 given...

                  Money should be the cost to cover your invitation + extra for an actual gift.

                  So I would say an average cost pp is $125. So we gift $250 to cover costs. Then +$50-100 for friends, 100-250 for close friends, and upwards of 500-750 for
                  immediate family.

                  Decrease the amount I'd you gave pre wedding presents.

                  I gave this even as a resident and medical student.

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                  • #10
                    $200-250 minimum for two people. We will give more if it's someone close to use. Our weddings have significantly dried up, especially for our close friends, but this is our general baseline.

                    If I'm unable to go, I'll typically get something around $100 from their registry. These people tend to be more peripheral in nature, but feel that it's a nice gesture especially given the lack of expense on me (other than an invitation and stamp).

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                    • #11
                      Depends how well I know them. Relatives/acquaintances we don't see often: $50 range
                      Really close friends/family members: $100

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                      • #12




                        Depends how well I know them. Relatives/acquaintances we don’t see often: $50 range
                        Really close friends/family members: $100
                        Click to expand...


                        this is so ridiculous.  you're not even covering your dinner for any wedding you attend

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                        • #13
                          We are usually at the $500 mark though don't get invited to scads of weddings.  Though we do have 3 this spring. Two happen to be on the same day (also happens to be my birthday).  We won't be able to make the wedding of friend's daughter in St Pete's as DW's niece is getting married in London.  Both will be great times so we're sad to miss one. With travel costs they can start to add up but we are taking two weeks in England so will be fun.

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                          • #14


                            @kaman what is the extra +$1 for? I’m genuinely curious
                            Click to expand...


                            As Bill guessed correctly I am Indian and Hindu and in our culture it is a bit curt to write a round figure and an extra one makes it auspicious. So I always give $21, $101, $251 and so on.

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                            • #15
                              Traditionally, the parents of the bride foot the bill for the wedding and reception. I am curious about the logic of “covering the costs of the wedding” through gifting the bride and groom. Certainly all gifts go to the couple.

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