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any other scrooge mcdoctors here?

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  • #31
    As an ER doc, if I can attend either Xmas eve. or Xmas day church service, I'm feeling all the spiritual fulfillment  that I need. My husband needs a bit of tangible physical materialistic representation of my love.   


    • #32

      Sorry I wasn’t clear. My wife has the freedom to buy anything she wants for herself at any time. It’s not like she waits for Xmas and hopes she gets something. After twenty plus years together we have accumulated tons of crap. Don’t need more clothes or shoes or purses or other stuff.

      I don’t buy anything for kids but the trees (yes more than one) are filled with presents she buys for the kids. Personally think it is way too much but we have compromised over the years.

      As to what happens to money, that is something everyone here will have to decide for themselves. we have focused on education, leaving something for kids, and charity, after of course retirement. It’s not like we don’t spend money—I bet we spend in the top 5% on the board at this point in our lives. Even excluding charitable donations as an expense.
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      I’ll ask Santa to cancel that lump of coal…but I’m still on the fence about the socks.  ????
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      those socks are $15 a pair.  when i say $15, i mean american dollars.  i let the kids pick out the pair they want.  and ps she knows who she married.  ????

      my wife tried all kinds of ways to make me better than i am.  she just laughs and laughs now.  we are in a good place overall.  she laughs while i try to sew the holes in my socks shut.  she laughs at the holes in my twenty year old t shirts. she’s purged many over the years but i have some that are strictly on the never to be purged by anyone but me list.  i truly appreciate all the suggestions, as i recognize that i need to work on this … because it is important to my wife.

      to wci

      #4)we usually volunteer to provide christmas for needy families at church.

      it’s kind of gut-check– the stuff on their lists.  toilet paper, paper towels, toothbrushes, diapers.  how am i supposed to feel good about buying stuff for our family that we don’t need?  we usually include some gift cards for local restaurants, and couple gift certificates for toy stores.   usually we do about $500 for 4 families.  they only ask for $40 per family but my wife wants them to have a little better christmas.  i’m more like-just get them extra socks and underwear, not toys.–sometimes you are your parents  ????

      you guys never have equivalent of holiday survivor’s guilt?

      #3)maybe we are not donating to the right charities.  we’ve focused on women in transition and adolescent suicide prevention.  we have had multi year commitments, but theoretically could do more.  are there other charities we should consider that might serve the purpose of improving the holiday spirit?  maybe the ones we pick are not creating holiday spirit?  maybe we shouldn’t wait till december to donate.  ha ha.

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      I know this whole thread is fun and tongue-in-cheek.


      Dude, in all seriousness, try an experiment where you buy your wife something ridiculous for Christmas, frivolous, and expensive. Do like a $1000 bracelet or pair of earrings. Write on the card “thanks for putting up with me.”

      My guess is that you will score about 10,000,000 marriage points. ************************, you can wrap it in the socks and put it in her stocking.
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      i truly appreciate your thoughtful suggestion.  we have tried those things over the years.  she has 1,000 jewelry as well as 20,000 jewelry.  tucked away.  she has purses that are more than 1,000 sitting in closet.  more crap than you could shake a stick at, sadly.  i have commissioned paintings.  i hired famous photographers to take pictures of family in famous places.  in the end, it’s all just more crap.   spending more does not provide a more meaningful gift when you are as blessed financially as most of us here.  jmo.  ymmv.

      after you guys have been together twenty years, then come back and tell me whether it’s all crap or not.

      ps-aren’t ladies worried that someone will rob them if they wear a lot of jewelry?  i never understood this at all.

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      Based on your description of your personal belongings (jewelry, purses, commissioned paintings, etc), as well as the yearly shopping trip to NYC, I don't think you're nearly as much of a scrooge mcdoctor as you think you are.  But I do appreciate the original post, I have something to show my DW whenever she thinks I am being cheap.  I just have to hide all the follow-up posts...


      • #33
        I like the advice written here. I may add

        Look always for the best price and compare prices in different stores and websites.  That’s something that you can get involved with your wife.

        If a credit card ask you to choose categories, do so in advance to maximize the cash back. Department stores have cash back and money rewards . Also you could  use websites like ebates or  fat wallet to get more cash back.

        Gifts that have not been used, old gifts,  can be sold online. So makes you feel less guilty about buying new things.

        Have a mind set to buy a gift any time of the year and keep it stored for later. Restaurant Gift cards can be bought at a discount sometimes of the year. Or during a lazy weekend, go window shopping in a garage sale or thrift store. If you see something suitable as a gift , buy it and keep it stored.

        Look at this as an investment like any other. If spending xxx  $ amount makes your wife happy, it would be cheaper than a divorce. If xxx $ is   too much or getting out of your budget, then you could compromise spending  less (e.g.  charity) or making more ( working  more).