Having a second weekend home

[llessac15]

I currently practice in a town where my wife grew up, but I am not too keen on it. Her mother and sister still live here so she still has a strong attachment to it. The job here is very good and I make very good money. I’m not interested in leaving the job for quite a while. My goal is to retire in 10-12 years and move to a beachside town about 3 hours from here. We visit this “dream” town 3-4 times per year and love it. At this point, I am considering buying a 2nd home there and staying there every weekend we can, basically living two separate lives between here and there. We have 2 very young kids so things will only get more complicated with time and will probably affect how often we can go. But for now, the only weekends we would spend here are weekends when I’m on call. I could even rent out the house when not in use.

Does anyone have a similar arrangement and are happy/unhappy with it? Please explain.

[jz]

We've had a vacation home for  22 years.  The location is topographically different even though it is only 1.5 hours from our primary home  It functions as an emotional exhaust port for my husband.  He is never truly without call unless he is out of town.   It costs  $20k annually including maintenance and we've never rented it out because my husband just doesn't want others there.  When our kids were teens, they used it a fare bit to host friends;  we've done a bit of hosting ourselves.  We intend to use it heavily during the early retirement years.

[PhysicianOnFIRE]

If your goal is to retire in 10 to 12 years, consider how much that might be delayed when you add the cost of owning and maintaining a second home. Add the wear and tear on the vehicle(s) driving ~300 miles extra on those weekends. At $0.50 a mile, that's $150 a weekend just on the cost of owning and operating the vehicle to get there. Six hours in the car every weekend isn't a blast, either.

My parents did it for years and eventually retired to their vacation home 3+ hours away, but I someetimes wondered why they didn't just relocate years earlier. Like you, we had family in our hometown, which probably had a lot to do with it.

We now live near my parents in a part of the state where a lot of people like to spend their weekends. We do have a summer cabin far from here, but very close to where we lived when we bought it and close to my wife's family, so it makes some sense for us.

[Hatton]

I own a lake cabin 1 hour from my main house.  It is nice to get away.  I think it only makes sense if the second home is an easy drive.  Docs that I know that have far away (6 hour) beach places really do not use them much.

[Craigy]

IMO a second weekend home is a little much.  Most of us plebeians make do with just one weekend home, or without any weekend home at all.     :lol:

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

It depends on how much this 2nd home costs and how much you use it.

A friend of mine likes to say that for a fraction of the cost of owning a vacation home, he can simply rent a vacation home several times a year, as nice as he wants, go to a different one each time, and leave the dirty dishes in the sink on the way out.  Zero worry about maintenance, upkeep, the neighbors, tax, storms, condo assessments, anything.

But obviously if you're going 30 or 40x a year, it's cheaper to own something than to rent.

[q-school]

Craigy wrote:

IMO a second weekend home is a little much.  Most of us plebeians make do with just one weekend home, or without any weekend home at all.     

Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

It depends on how much this 2nd home costs and how much you use it.

A friend of mine likes to say that for a fraction of the cost of owning a vacation home, he can simply rent a vacation home several times a year, as nice as he wants, go to a different one each time, and leave the dirty dishes in the sink on the way out.  Zero worry about maintenance, upkeep, the neighbors, tax, storms, condo assessments, anything.

But obviously if you’re going 30 or 40x a year, it’s cheaper to own something than to rent.

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we've always rented even though we go back to the same places over and over.

the arguments about mortgage being minimum you spend and renting being maximum hold even more true for second home until you are truly FI.

although many of my partners who bought little places in aspen in the 80s seem to have done well with them.  i just think its much harder now, and I recognize that I may be completely wrong.

also the fact that my wife would never let me rent a second home means it is all a big drain on my family budget.  nothing in, only outs.

but as she always reminds me, can't take it with you.  that's what it's there for.  

 

[RosieQ]

I have never liked the idea of a second home for vacationing. You are tied to maintenance, taxes and an extra mortgage which makes it hard to break even when compared to the usual vacation costs. In order to break even you have to visit there very frequently and at the expense of other locations- and there is a lot of amazing stuff to see and do around the world. I suspect that renting a place in this other town on Air BnB or similar would likely be the best choice. Save your money, retire and perhaps relocate and buy in your preferred location at that time.

[djohnflatfeecfp]

I do not have a separate home, but thought I would share some advice from some of my friends who dealt with similar situations.

First, two of them (one a surgeon) had young kids. Instead of buying a separate cabin/cottage/weekend house they decided to install pools at their homes.  Their kids were involved in so much stuff on the weekends (sports, clubs, scouts, birthday parties, etc) they could not get away enough to justify the extra residence.

Another friend has a cabin in the woods about two hours away.  He told me once years ago he used to have a better place but it was three hours away and they never went to it. His informal analysis was anything under two hours made it reasonable for them to visit on a regular basis.

[PhysicianOnFIRE]

Craigy wrote:

IMO a second weekend home is a little much. Most of us plebeians make do with just one weekend home, or without any weekend home at all.

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  My first thought, reading this title at about 0300, was that I should be glad to be home three weekends a month. This guy's just hoping to have a second weekend home a month.

[VagabondMD]

I have toyed with the idea of a second home on multiple occasions in the past, always passed, and am glad that I did. I like the idea of traveling to different places and fear that having a second home would pin me down.

I am also burned out maintaining my one home and loathe the idea of dealing with repairs and upkeep of another one. I certainly do understand the allure, but it's not for me.

[jz]

I'll respond to the false notion of being pinned down to a vacation spot.  That's a false dichotomy.   When we've wanted adventure, we traveled to Tanzania, Costa Rica, Belize, Ecuador, Peru, Belgium, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Ireland, France, Poland, Canada. When we needed rest, we traveled to the vacation house only 1.5 hours away; no need to be at the airport at a certain time, no packing needed, no crowds.  We picked up groceries on the way.

[SValleyMD]

Chalk up another one for it.

It's been one of my main goals and can't wait until I pull it off.

My spot is also 1.5 hours a way and I hope to retire there.

3 hours away would make me think a little more but if u want it go for it

[q-school]

jz wrote:

I’ll respond to the false notion of being pinned down to a vacation spot.  That’s a false dichotomy.   When we’ve wanted adventure, we traveled to Tanzania, Costa Rica, Belize, Ecuador, Peru, Belgium, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Ireland, France, Poland, Canada. When we needed rest, we traveled to the vacation house only 1.5 hours away; no need to be at the airport at a certain time, no packing needed, no crowds.  We picked up groceries on the way.

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yes but for the original poster with three hour distance and young kids who will likely have weekend commitments, the likelihood is that there will be a tradeoff.  i think there are always lots of options depending on where you are in life, age of kids, how close to FI you are.  i'm curious to see if in 10 years poster will still want to retire with young kids on verge of expensive college years.  there's always one more year to work just to lock finances down.  

most who responded here probably assume it is likely that the place will have minimal use many years.  however, if they don't mind the three hour drive and the kids don't have sports or chess or birthday parties, they may actually use it a lot.  I think it falls under the heading of lots of stuff we spend money on--  not to be viewed as an investment, just a wanted item.  the value/enjoyment is individual.  while it may not prevent travel to other places, it may prevent other investment or retirement opportunities.  we ultimately never know until we try, do we?



 

[VagabondMD]

q-school wrote:

jz wrote:

I’ll respond to the false notion of being pinned down to a vacation spot.  That’s a false dichotomy.   When we’ve wanted adventure, we traveled to Tanzania, Costa Rica, Belize, Ecuador, Peru, Belgium, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Ireland, France, Poland, Canada. When we needed rest, we traveled to the vacation house only 1.5 hours away; no need to be at the airport at a certain time, no packing needed, no crowds.  We picked up groceries on the way.

Click to expand…

yes but for the original poster with three hour distance and young kids who will likely have weekend commitments, the likelihood is that there will be a tradeoff.  i think there are always lots of options depending on where you are in life, age of kids, how close to FI you are.  i’m curious to see if in 10 years poster will still want to retire with young kids on verge of expensive college years.  there’s always one more year to work just to lock finances down.  

most who responded here probably assume it is likely that the place will have minimal use many years.  however, if they don’t mind the three hour drive and the kids don’t have sports or chess or birthday parties, they may actually use it a lot.  I think it falls under the heading of lots of stuff we spend money on–  not to be viewed as an investment, just a wanted item.  the value/enjoyment is individual.  while it may not prevent travel to other places, it may prevent other investment or retirement opportunities.  we ultimately never know until we try, do we?



 

Click to expand...

Perhaps unique to my personal my circumstances:

1. I was on call every other weekend for 21 years. I probably would not see a weekend getaway often enough to make it worthwhile. There are places people go, but they do not interest me. (No mountains, no beaches.)

2. Where I live in the Midwest, there are no places that I can think of that I would rather be than home within 100-150 miles of my home.

 

[q-school]

Vagabond MD wrote:

q-school wrote:

jz wrote:

I’ll respond to the false notion of being pinned down to a vacation spot.  That’s a false dichotomy.   When we’ve wanted adventure, we traveled to Tanzania, Costa Rica, Belize, Ecuador, Peru, Belgium, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Ireland, France, Poland, Canada. When we needed rest, we traveled to the vacation house only 1.5 hours away; no need to be at the airport at a certain time, no packing needed, no crowds.  We picked up groceries on the way.

Click to expand…

yes but for the original poster with three hour distance and young kids who will likely have weekend commitments, the likelihood is that there will be a tradeoff.  i think there are always lots of options depending on where you are in life, age of kids, how close to FI you are.  i’m curious to see if in 10 years poster will still want to retire with young kids on verge of expensive college years.  there’s always one more year to work just to lock finances down.  

most who responded here probably assume it is likely that the place will have minimal use many years.  however, if they don’t mind the three hour drive and the kids don’t have sports or chess or birthday parties, they may actually use it a lot.  I think it falls under the heading of lots of stuff we spend money on–  not to be viewed as an investment, just a wanted item.  the value/enjoyment is individual.  while it may not prevent travel to other places, it may prevent other investment or retirement opportunities.  we ultimately never know until we try, do we?



 

Click to expand…

Perhaps unique to my personal my circumstances:

1. I was on call every other weekend for 21 years. I probably would not see a weekend getaway often enough to make it worthwhile. There are places people go, but they do not interest me. (No mountains, no beaches.)

2. Where I live in the Midwest, there are no places that I can think of that I would rather be than home within 100-150 miles of my home.

 

Click to expand...

maybe you should learn to fly?