Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Console me

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    One of the best things about being a dual high income couple is that you can do things like this. That simply isn't an option in my family (well, I guess it is now with WCI, but you get my point.)

    I got an email recently from a male resident and his attending physician stay at home wife with $300K+ in student loans. Only a dual income couple would even consider making the choice to have a physician with $300K in student loans stay home.
    Helping those who wear the white coat get a fair shake on Wall Street since 2011

    Comment


    • #17
      Assuming that people earn money so that they can be happy.

      This PhD is making her happy. Without earning much.

      I don't see a problem. Heck, its a blessing.

      Medical student loans are overblown - yea it needs to be paid, but unless you really suck, you'll pay them off based on even primary care income.

      Comment


      • #18







        I would be concerned about ‘lumpy’ income in a two scientist household which Im sure is your concern as well. Its a lot easier to not worry when one person has a very predictable and safe income.
        Click to expand…


        Not sure I understand this point.  Most academic positions are less lumpy and more predictable than almost any other job.  Relatively low income with no material upside, but no downside either.
        Click to expand...


        It's reference about grant funded based salary.   Publish or perish is the saying and a very real issue in Academic medicine salaries that's tied to grants.

        The grant pot has really shifted over the years with NIH really dropping precipitously and leaving a lot of institutional studies dry since corporate bench studies is very different.

        The power is the she'll have MD/PhD which opens a LOT of doors beyond only academic derm.

        Comment


        • #19







          I would be concerned about ‘lumpy’ income in a two scientist household which Im sure is your concern as well. Its a lot easier to not worry when one person has a very predictable and safe income.
          Click to expand…


          Not sure I understand this point.  Most academic positions are less lumpy and more predictable than almost any other job.  Relatively low income with no material upside, but no downside either.
          Click to expand...


          you guys were making employment and sustained work sound scare is all.

          Comment


          • #20
            I understand the concern because some people, even some physicians aren't exactly sure what they want to do long term. A friend of mines started Hospitalist immediately after residency, didn't like it at one place in 3 months so went to another Hospitalist practice. She then applied to Endocrine Residency got one but changed her mind before going and decided to do Rheumatology. She moved away, did Rheumatology for one year, didn't like it so moved back to the area and went to the second Hospitalist Job. She is married, her children and her husband stuck with her through it all. I think it just took trying a few things to decide exactly what she wanted to do. You know your wife better than anyone on his blog. Is Derm not exciting to her so she is looking for another option, Is residency getting to her. Being an attending is so much sweeter than a resident in IM ( I don't know about Derm specifically). Could a compromise be for her to work as an attending doing derm for a couple years then go get the PhD? Its easy to say let her do it but if this means more school for "I've got nothing to loose" and still being unhappy and "searching" for that "thing"...A honest conversation is needed.

            Comment


            • #21
              Is she scared about being an attending, i.e. no longer a student/resident anymore but being the one in charge, so hence prolong the student role? She would not be the first one.

              Drsan1 also has a good point. Maybe her heart in not in Derm and the prospect of a long career as a dermatologist is too much. Doesn't matter much than though whether you are an attending, if you don't like what you do.....

              Comment


              • #22
                Good points all, I appreciate the sentiments. Hopefully the wife will change her mind, if she doesn't I will reluctantly support without looking back.

                Comment


                • #23
                  As a spouse to a triple boarded MD wife I would tell you to do whatever it is that makes her the happiest. We are closing in on 500k net worth and it could have been a million by now. She's happy with her job and that makes it better for me too. I asked the same questions. She was even a chemical engineer before med school. Some people just dont want to stop learning.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Having been in academic medicine the first 10 years or so of my career, and now PP (well, a hospital-employed variant), I think it is easier to transition from academic medicine to PP than it is the other way around. So maybe that's what she means by "nothing to lose." And, as others have said, perhaps there is some degree of career uncertainty along with the continuing inertia of academics that make the MD/PhD option more appealing.

                    Even if she eventually returns to PP, the time spent in academics and obtaining the PhD isn't all lost by any means. The PhD could open other career options in the future. The scientific, analytic, data-driven experience she acquires from academics/PhD will help her in the independent, life-long learning that is required in PP. At least I have found that to be the case for me.

                    My advice is be supportive and let her figure it out.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      No consolation from me, at least given what I've read thus far, but I will offer some thoughts and questions. I mean them to be helpful.







                      My derm resident wife (s/p 3 years research in med school) just told me she is going to take an extra 3+ years to get a PhD in a physician-scientist track. Rationale from her: “I have nothing to lose…” How do I be supportive when I think this is a terrible career decision that is going to cost us $1m in lost income? If she actually had a passion for research I would feel differently, but she’s already done 3 years and I just didn’t see the spark. Mind you that I do this for a living myself as an academic research faculty member.
                      Click to expand...


                      I'm having trouble with this one - dude - you did it!!! Why did you? Why can't she? Didn't you make the same terrible decision? Or is this all about her lack of passion? Is there something else?




                      One suggestion:. Be a spouse, not a professor.
                      Click to expand...


                      Agreed. Professors loathe passionless sloths. I will ask you to remember that not every day of an academic training career (same in medicine too) is full of vigor and excitement. Sometimes we just get tired and press on. Caffeine only helps so much. Be a spouse, make the coffee and give a hug.

                      Were you hoping she'd make a pile of derm cash? Or that she'd be excited to wake up every day? Or are you frustrated you don't have the same goals? Is this not the career picture you'd expected? Is she in the depressive throes of training? Are you well beyond those tedious days? Is she scared of the end? Academic and especially medical training is an adventure, and there is always a next step. From high school to attending hood (years and years and years) there is always something next. It's scary not to have a next. Especially for a competent high functioning individual.

                       

                      In short, my thoughts:

                      1. You two aren't communicating well, maybe? (I'll admit I've made a lot of assumptions from your posts here, I only know you that well).

                      2. What is she excited about? Is this just a lousy month of training? Are there mental health issue at play?  (pretty common in medical training)

                      3. She's your wife, perhaps you should help her do whatever she wants.

                      4. Perhaps the immediate (short term) fear of losing 1M is scary... Could you two team up and patent something else to make some $? That seemed to work well before!

                      5. Consider the longer term potential benefits. MD/PhD certainly opens other doors, and perhaps this is a nice way to more easily have a career less subject to the grind of medicine, the bumps of research - there are huge needs for administrative and leadership roles. Maybe she could more easily work until 70, and be quiet happy about it. Working part time that long would make for a lovely career, and really lessen the need for a larger next egg. My point here is asking you if you're being short sighted on the current career/income issues, and missing the larger potential gains from such a choice? Seems like there could be some awesome sabbaticals, or international professorships. You could move,live, and work anywhere!

                      6. She might kind of admire what you did? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X