Getting old

[STATscans]

I will reach the ripe old age of 50 in 2 years. Wow over half my life is gone!

But I still feel like there is so much I still want to do and experience. Yet, my body is no longer able to do it.
I’ve been lifting weights 3 times a week for the past 2 years and just started doing couch to 5k. I’m not super fit but ok, just like many I could shed 10 lbs - love food and drinks!......

Anyway, how did you all who are above 50 approach it? I know none of us have a choice to get old, but did you prepare yourself mentally? Or was it just another day. No big deal.

When I see someone posting on facebook about ‘turning the big 40’, it seems like nothing. I dont recall much changing going from 30 to 40. I could still hike up the hills or run just like when I was in my 30s. Now, forward 10 years and it hurts to get up from long sitting. My joints hurt after doing exercises. I have to take my glasses off to read! My eye sights seem worse at night - I need photons... lots of it....

Did you hang out with older folks to feel a little younger? Or do you hang out with younger people to feel younger? Neither?

[ENT Doc]

I went to post a picture of that seemingly photoshopped muscle bound old man we are used to seeing in airline magazine ads. Turns out he’s a doctor and those aren’t photoshopped. Dr. Jeffry Life:

https://www.lifeextension.com/magazine/2011/7/a-strong-life-at-any-age

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2010-jan-18-la-he-jeffry-life18-2010jan18-story.html%3f_amp=true

“I’ll have what (he’s) having.”

[Eye3md]

Same as you, turning 40 did not bother me one bit.

ive been in my 50s for a few years now. At first, I didn’t think turning 50 would be any different than turning 40......just another day. But, like you, it made me start thinking “geez, half of my life is now gone”. It is weird to think about. It has certainly been good in that it made me think more about how precious my time is with my wife, kids, parents, etc....time is always more valuable than money

[MPMD]

i think i'm in this weird valley (39) of not being in my 20s or early 30s but still having the physical ability to do stuff like i did then combined with a real fear of losing ground if i don't work at fitness and health. so i think i'm probably in better shape now then i was at almost any point from 18-35.

that being said, i definitely am experiencing what i think is the beginning of the "running to stand still" phase of fitness/weight control.

[JBME]

I too am 39, turning 40 this year. What a depressing thread You all are making me feel like I only have about 10 good years left. I usually don't have an issue with aging...just something that happens. On the positive side, I "suffer" from inheriting very good metabolism and have struggled to keep weight on. Just before I turned 30 people told me to just wait, it'll be hard to keep the weight down. 10 years later and still don't have a problem keeping weight off...maybe in a year or two it'll come back to bite me?

[jhwkr542]

Getting old is better than the alternative

[Tim]

https://youtu.be/6pQgbEEFPq0

I would prefer having lunch with 60 year old Meg Ryan. Just for advice and tips about how to handle 50. She is very talented in giving advice to men. I doubt my wife would be receptive. At least .

Real suggestion, “hurts to get up from sitting”.
Might start there. Sitting with older or younger probably won’t make a difference.

[Hatton]

I am 63. Each round number bothers one I think. Yes various joints hurt. You simply have to be the best you can be at whatever your age is. Do not compare yourself to younger people. Some people age much better than others. Take care of yourself and be a member of the aging well crowd.

[STATscans]

I am 63. Each round number bothers one I think. Yes various joints hurt. You simply have to be the best you can be at whatever your age is. Do not compare yourself to younger people. Some people age much better than others. Take care of yourself and be a member of the aging well crowd.

:-)

[artemis]

I agree with Hatton. It also helps to remember that our culture puts a premium on good looks and physical prowess, which is foolish precisely because those things inevitably fade. Improving your overall character, on the other hand, gives lasting rewards but is often overlooked. Focus more on the latter, and less on the former, and you'll be happier.

[climbskiscope]

I had a med school mentor who at 74 was still traveling to South America on mountaineering expeditions. He got up at 5:30 every day and hit the gym for an hour before rounding. He was a proponent of multiple small meals through the day, which were precisely planned on the order of “10 blueberries, 5 walnuts, ... and 2 scoops of casein”. Overall diet plan was high protein, 0 cholesterol, close to 0 saturated fat, and no refined carbs - think whole food plant based plus egg whites, Greek yoghurt, and protein powder. His whole family has diabetes except him. I don’t think I can be quite that hardcore but he’s definitely my role model for aging well.

[FIREshrink]

Almost exactly your age. Not looking forward to fifty. But I feel blessed that I read Man's Search for Meaning around my fortieth birthday and developed a clarity of purpose then, and did not have to wait for fifty or for some other shock.

Also as an existential therapist, I better be able to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I've strived to balance live for now vs live for later and I've been acutely aware for some time that life is very short and tomorrow is not guaranteed. My parents (z"l) died less than a week apart, less than two years after each being diagnosed with cancer at seemingly young ages after spending a lifetime eating right and exercising and doing all the right things. My dad's diagnosis came less than a year after retiring too old for the third time.

We have big trips planned this year. I'm pulling my kids out of school for two weeks this fall and going to Europe, covid permitting. The oldest is already in high school, I can't believe it, and these opportunities are slipping away. There is no delaying on these things, you just gotta do them. It will be their first trip to Europe so I hope the continent gets their house in order so we can go!

I'm still exercising, more than ever and probably in nearly peak fitness for myself considering I work full time. I ski every week, sometimes twice, and run 3-4x with a mix of tempo and HIIT/sprint and ran my fastest 5k ever in September. I also do starting strength and am at a PR for deadlifts, squats, and bench. I can start to feel the age though. Mostly I notice that I need more rest and recovery. I plan for zero rest days per week but usually end up taking 1 or even 2. Other days I can still run or ski in the morning and lift in the evenings. It's important to listen to your body, if your body is tired, take a break. I have to spend more time stretching and on injury prevention and honestly need to get better at that. But I feel really good. I haven't lost any speed on the endurance side yet. My explosive power is down, jumping way less high but also something I haven't worked on. Sprinting speed down but not much, what I really notice it is that I can still out sprint my teenage soccer player daughter, but only for 50 meters. By 100 she's beat me because I can't keep up top sprint form for that distance. Also for some reason I really feel it backpacking, at altitude, with a heavy pack, going uphill. As my son gets older he's taking more weight each year so my pack is getting lighter. But it still feels like a ton of bricks.

It's good to have fitness goals, just like financial, spiritual, etc. I'm going to do a 5k in May and then shooting for a 10k off road race this summer on the mountain which is my current aerobic goal. That'll set me up well to hike Half Dome later in the month, if I get the cables ticket/lottery. Without these planned I'd be more tempted to "just run" or do unguided track or speed workouts. This way I'm following a plan. This week I do this track workout, next week that one. Also makes each hard run more tolerable, as you understand the reason for the pain!

I also have some goals and growth on the spiritual, cognitive, sides as well. For example I asked myself last fall, if i don't pick up French again soon, when? Why not now? So I did. I've been taking personal lessons twice a week for six months. It comes back. Now it would be a real challenge to learn a completely new language at this age. That wasn't my goal but maybe in five years I'll think about trying Chinese?

You say your life is almost just over half over. But realistically your active healthy self has maybe 25 years. More like 2/3 of that life is gone. Can't wait. Do it now!!

[VagabondMD]

I have been a runner since my third year of med school (1988). Over the years my interest in competitive running has waxed and waned but my final peak was at age 47, where I won or placed in my age group in three events (10k, half marathon, and trail 20k). My 10k time that year was 40:02 (a 6:27/mile pace). Since then, it has been all downhill. I snapped my popliteus tendon in the next year's 20k trail run and have literally been slowing ever since. Arthritis in my left knee and right 1st MTP has me down to running only 2 days per week (10 miles), but I have transitioned to three days on the Peloton and additional yoga and strength classes, at least once per week.

At first, I was very despondent about my declining performance and refused to run races. I was reluctant to document my decline. After speaking to an older friend (10 years older) who was always an avid cyclist, he told me that in his early 50's, he removed the speedometers from his bikes for similar reasons. It makes sense. None of us lives forever, and while physical decline is part of the aging process, we can still work to preserve our health and our athletic abilities as best we can, acknowledging that we will never be able to perform as we did in our 20's and 30's.

[Dusn]

Almost exactly your age. Not looking forward to fifty. But I feel blessed that I read Man's Search for Meaning around my fortieth birthday and developed a clarity of purpose then, and did not have to wait for fifty or for some other shock.

Also as an existential therapist, I better be able to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I've strived to balance live for now vs live for later and I've been acutely aware for some time that life is very short and tomorrow is not guaranteed. My parents (z"l) died less than a week apart, less than two years after each being diagnosed with cancer at seemingly young ages after spending a lifetime eating right and exercising and doing all the right things. My dad's diagnosis came less than a year after retiring too old for the third time.

We have big trips planned this year. I'm pulling my kids out of school for two weeks this fall and going to Europe, covid permitting. The oldest is already in high school, I can't believe it, and these opportunities are slipping away. There is no delaying on these things, you just gotta do them. It will be their first trip to Europe so I hope the continent gets their house in order so we can go!

I'm still exercising, more than ever and probably in nearly peak fitness for myself considering I work full time. I ski every week, sometimes twice, and run 3-4x with a mix of tempo and HIIT/sprint and ran my fastest 5k ever in September. I also do starting strength and am at a PR for deadlifts, squats, and bench. I can start to feel the age though. Mostly I notice that I need more rest and recovery. I plan for zero rest days per week but usually end up taking 1 or even 2. Other days I can still run or ski in the morning and lift in the evenings. It's important to listen to your body, if your body is tired, take a break. I have to spend more time stretching and on injury prevention and honestly need to get better at that. But I feel really good. I haven't lost any speed on the endurance side yet. My explosive power is down, jumping way less high but also something I haven't worked on. Sprinting speed down but not much, what I really notice it is that I can still out sprint my teenage soccer player daughter, but only for 50 meters. By 100 she's beat me because I can't keep up top sprint form for that distance. Also for some reason I really feel it backpacking, at altitude, with a heavy pack, going uphill. As my son gets older he's taking more weight each year so my pack is getting lighter. But it still feels like a ton of bricks.

It's good to have fitness goals, just like financial, spiritual, etc. I'm going to do a 5k in May and then shooting for a 10k off road race this summer on the mountain which is my current aerobic goal. That'll set me up well to hike Half Dome later in the month, if I get the cables ticket/lottery. Without these planned I'd be more tempted to "just run" or do unguided track or speed workouts. This way I'm following a plan. This week I do this track workout, next week that one. Also makes each hard run more tolerable, as you understand the reason for the pain!

I also have some goals and growth on the spiritual, cognitive, sides as well. For example I asked myself last fall, if i don't pick up French again soon, when? Why not now? So I did. I've been taking personal lessons twice a week for six months. It comes back. Now it would be a real challenge to learn a completely new language at this age. That wasn't my goal but maybe in five years I'll think about trying Chinese?

You say your life is almost just over half over. But realistically your active healthy self has maybe 25 years. More like 2/3 of that life is gone. Can't wait. Do it now!!

Is logotherapy a field of psychotherapy that's still practiced?

Man's Search for Meaning was a great book and his ideas made a lot of sense. But I still find it difficult to develop a meaning or purpose for everything.

[burritos]

Turned 50 this year. Last month I beat my high school pull up record(non kipping) that I achieved when I was 17. Now I have right lateral epicondylitis. Which is interesting cause when I had right tennis elbow when I was 17 because, well, I played tennis.