Midlife crisis crossroads... any and all help and/or opinions appreciated

[Dogtor]

F0017S0 only because I just received a windfall and I’m trying to figure out where to invest it.

[Tim]

altadoc even without everything we put into the house we had less than $500K in equity that we pulled back out.

My understanding is as long as the difference in interest is less than 14K it can be claimed as a gift. I know someone who has a 1.88% mortgage rate right now from before things started increasing.

The date of the loan (note) is what is used as the IRS minimum. It is by month. No need to guess. You or your CPA know the answer. I don’t know the answer, but your parents will need a number for their taxes. You don’t need an understanding, you will need a number. Simple .

[F0017S0]

Cash 68%

Is your portfolio really 68% cash?

[Tim]

There is a lesson buried in this journey.
Something along the lines that more unique the skill sets, the harder it is to find situations that those skills are valued. New boss, new ownership can jeopardize your income. Never hurts to network before you might need it.
The trigger here was a potential loss of job, through no fault of the individual.

[altadoc]

Dogtor - The annual gift exclusion was raised to $16k for 2022. Each parent could gift you the $16k per year to fall under the gift tax exclusion. Glad to hear you've worked through this!

[Dogtor]

altadoc even without everything we put into the house we had less than $500K in equity that we pulled back out.

My understanding is as long as the difference in interest is less than 14K it can be claimed as a gift. I know someone who has a 1.88% mortgage rate right now from before things started increasing.

[altadoc]

Shouldn't be paying substantial tax on the equity from the old house as it was all rolled into our current mortgage, and with our improvements on the house we can show negligible gains.

This is not how the capital gain exemption works on a primary residence. It does not matter if you rolled the equity into your new mortgage. What matters is if your capital gains are greater than $250k single/$500K married. Improvements to the property can help reduce that gain. But what you did with the equity does not matter for this calculation.

Also, the current applicable federal rates for appropriate interest are a tad bit higher than 1%. Your parents can still charge you that rate, but they will be on the hook to pay taxes on the difference, even though you are not paying them that interest. It's the notion of imputed interest.

I think you are making progress. CordMcNally and others are saying to take the time with your spouse to sit down and figure out your purpose. What's important to you? How do you create that life you want? Getting the finances nailed down is essential, but that money is just a tool to help you achieve what's most valuable to you. Spend time figuring that piece out.

[Dogtor]

Kennyt7 the only thing we currently have with them is term life and disability insurance… they’re not great policies but they’re cheap. Evaluating other options.

[Kennyt7]

GET out of NMW ASAP!!!!!! costs matter big time

[Tim]

They are but in the last several months your plans have been all over the place. Messy plans get messy results. I’m just saying to slow down, take a deep breath, and make intentional decisions.

Actually, this was not Midlife Crisis. This was big plans disrupted because a stable employment situation was disrupted. Psychologically, I admire the reaction.
"Screw it, let's take off in the Air Stream". Very understandable. Made a choice to sell the existing house(not wanted long term) and pay down debt. They still want the property and to build on it. Doable, not yet.
Rebuilding her career is a work in process. Doing a great job in the situation. She is on option 3 and being patient. She might be CEO and take this thing public.
This is a career poker game. See how the cards fall. So far it looks good. In this M&A deal she has a seat at the table. If she keeps it, back to the big house.
She is thinking this through, just keeping a poker face. Winning this hand (the new job working out) is the best result. I told her that before, see if you can carve out a new spot. There is one there. Well played so far. At this point, it's business politics.
Smart business woman. Probably a good vet as well.
Update when she feels like it.

[CordMcNally]

So far the only mistakes I'm seeing are NWM and possibly the property purchase, although with the way things are appreciating around here who knows if that will be a mistake or not. Do you not view the other progress as moving in the right direction financially?

They are but in the last several months your plans have been all over the place. Messy plans get messy results. I’m just saying to slow down, take a deep breath, and make intentional decisions.

[Tim]

Working with a CPA on all of this.

Shouldn't be paying substantial tax on the equity from the old house as it was all rolled into our current mortgage, and with our improvements on the house we can show negligible gains.

Dream house is on hold because I don't know about the stability of my new job, and I'm also concerned about the politics of living in my state long term right now and the implications for raising a daughter in this state. So as of Uvalde and the overturn of Roe V. Wade I don't even know if I want to live here anymore. In addition, I don't think we should be taking out a million dollar loan until we are sure we are settled.

We currently have a free leaseback for a few months of our old house until the new little house on the property is ready to live in. There are actually two existing houses on the property, one of which currently has a tenant. The other will get a tenant long term (probably).

The CPA is helping us with the "bonus" as it is sales proceeds.

I am in the process of contract negotiations right now (my job does not require me to stay in this state). I have a noncompete that commences at signing so it will be gone in two years, it also has significant carve outs to allow me to practice should I leave. I'm also trying to get them committed to paying me a year's severance should I be terminated.

I don't know how you get a "new little house" built in a few months.
Your plan is excellent. I also don't think you should commit to the market, existing mortgage or the new build until you are sure you are settled. The market is a long term decision. I would still recommend not investing the funds because they might be needed for the "dream house". You might not need or want a million dollar loan. Flexibility is valuable.
Your reasoning for your daughter is , well let's just say emotional and avoid non-relevant factors. Your choice.

[Dogtor]

You and/or your husband seem pretty compulsive with regards to decisions based on your threads. Everything from living the van life to building a house. I think you two just need to sit down and figure out what's important to each of you and go from there. With your income you can make a big mistake or two and be fine but you can't continue to make big mistakes.

So far the only mistakes I'm seeing are NWM and possibly the property purchase, although with the way things are appreciating around here who knows if that will be a mistake or not. Do you not view the other progress as moving in the right direction financially?

[Dogtor]

Stop:

• You purchased land with a small house as a tenant. Family mortgage. Did you run the loan by your accountant? tax
• https://www.irs.gov/applicable-federal-rates I hope your loan is compliant. tax
• You sold your old house and have cash. tax
• The "dream house" is on hold "getting a construction loan and building is currently on hold." why?
• Where is a family of 5 living right now? life
• Bonus coming tax

New job and a pattern here: figure it out later. You have options, but you haven't made choices. I think its clear that the van life is out. But you did not rule it out.
HandFellow
"Your original question was more centered around the van life vs. build a huge house life. Now we don't even know where you are living. You sold your house but can't live on the property your own. I'm not sure how to give advice to people who don't know what they want."

My concern is the new job. They paid you well and you may have carved out a long term job. Without a contract, you can only play it as it comes. That and your housing is up in the air.
Basic: Job and where to live. You won't know about the job for another year. Take care of your taxes.

Working with a CPA on all of this.

Shouldn't be paying substantial tax on the equity from the old house as it was all rolled into our current mortgage, and with our improvements on the house we can show negligible gains.

Dream house is on hold because I don't know about the stability of my new job, and I'm also concerned about the politics of living in my state long term right now and the implications for raising a daughter in this state. So as of Uvalde and the overturn of Roe V. Wade I don't even know if I want to live here anymore. In addition, I don't think we should be taking out a million dollar loan until we are sure we are settled.

We currently have a free leaseback for a few months of our old house until the new little house on the property is ready to live in. There are actually two existing houses on the property, one of which currently has a tenant. The other will get a tenant long term (probably).

The CPA is helping us with the "bonus" as it is sales proceeds.

I am in the process of contract negotiations right now (my job does not require me to stay in this state). I have a noncompete that commences at signing so it will be gone in two years, it also has significant carve outs to allow me to practice should I leave. I'm also trying to get them committed to paying me a year's severance should I be terminated.

[CordMcNally]

You and/or your husband seem pretty compulsive with regards to decisions based on your threads. Everything from living the van life to building a house. I think you two just need to sit down and figure out what's important to each of you and go from there. With your income you can make a big mistake or two and be fine but you can't continue to make big mistakes.