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Divorce vs Post nup

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  • #31




    Copy all financial documents. Store them at a safe deposit at a new bank. Document everything in a journal with a stitched binding in ink and sign/date/time every entry. Be factual just as you would at work.

     
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    Agree but also utilize Dropbox or a cloud storage service. Easy to snap a photo and upload to these as well.

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    • #32
      I've been thinking of posting an update but it took me some time to be able to do that. It was a contentious divorce and we reached a settlement right before the trial date. It took almost a year and was brutal. Before I filed for divorce, I took some time off and traveled and spent time reflecting, reading a lot about personality disorders and divorce and preparing myself for what I could be facing. Once the process started it followed the typical cycle of intense pressure to reconcile, backlash for daring to leave, drawn out divorce with multiple delays and legal motions.

      There's a book In sheep's clothing: Understanding and dealing with manipulative people by George Simon and I found his blog helpful. He describes it as playing emotional slot machine and you keep investing your time and emotions hoping for a change. The best advice is to cut your losses and move on. I think this applies to toxic job/relationships/ business partnership. The sooner you leave, the better.

      It was a huge loss financially but immense relief emotionally. Another lesson I learnt was Justice and law are two entirely different things and its very important to understand the difference. My original post was full of despair but I was able to complete the process with my mental health intact and I'm very grateful for that.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Equanimity View Post
        I've been thinking of posting an update but it took me some time to be able to do that. It was a contentious divorce and we reached a settlement right before the trial date. It took almost a year and was brutal. Before I filed for divorce, I took some time off and traveled and spent time reflecting, reading a lot about personality disorders and divorce and preparing myself for what I could be facing. Once the process started it followed the typical cycle of intense pressure to reconcile, backlash for daring to leave, drawn out divorce with multiple delays and legal motions.

        There's a book In sheep's clothing: Understanding and dealing with manipulative people by George Simon and I found his blog helpful. He describes it as playing emotional slot machine and you keep investing your time and emotions hoping for a change. The best advice is to cut your losses and move on. I think this applies to toxic job/relationships/ business partnership. The sooner you leave, the better.

        It was a huge loss financially but immense relief emotionally. Another lesson I learnt was Justice and law are two entirely different things and its very important to understand the difference. My original post was full of despair but I was able to complete the process with my mental health intact and I'm very grateful for that.
        Thank you for the update and I am happy for you! Here’s to new beginnings!

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        • #34
          Thank you for the update. So sorry you had to go through this experience. I wish you the best.

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          • #35
            Thank you so much for the update. I'm so glad to hear you are safe and well. You are a strong person for doing what you did. You have established good financial and emotional habits, you will be amazed to see what you will accomplish in all areas of your life without a weight attached to you.

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            • #36
              “Another lesson I learnt was Justice and law are two entirely different things and its very important to understand the difference. ”

              Many life situations would be so much easier to deal with if one is able to remember this lesson.
              You should be proud that you were able to focus on the best results available. Not fair by any means. 2021 leaves you in a much better situation to continue your journey. The sun is shining, make the most of your new beginning.
              Congratulations!

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              • #37
                Thank you all for the kind words, appreciate it.

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                • #38
                  It was really good of you to post your update. These threads get re-read enough I'm sure it will all help someone else, especially your update.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Gavin West View Post
                    It was really good of you to post your update. These threads get re-read enough I'm sure it will all help someone else, especially your update.
                    It would be educational for asset protection:
                    Elements of a postnuptial agreement to be considered. Probably one of the least discussed contracts.

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                    • #40
                      Glad that you are ok. Life will be better for you

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                      • #41
                        I have no wisdom beyond speaking to a lawyer. My heart is aching for you and you sound wonderfully sane. Stay sane.

                        /please excuse my lack of context. didn't read others
                        Last edited by jz-; 12-23-2020, 01:48 PM.

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                        • #42
                          Congratulations! I hope you find this next chapter of your life rewarding, fulfilling and happy. Best of luck to you.

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Equanimity View Post
                            Another lesson I learnt was Justice and law are two entirely different things and its very important to understand the difference.
                            #1: Happy to read you are on the other side of this. I hope the new year is in many good things for you.

                            #2: Yes, justice & law are at odds sometimes. In many times it seems the law does not provide for justice. I wish more people would understand the line in the sand here.
                            "Oh look another bajillion point declin-Ooooh!!! A coupon for pizza!!!!" <--- This is what everyone's IPS should be. ✓✓✓

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                            • #44
                              Thank you, hope the New year brings good things for everyone

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                              • #45
                                Wishing you all the very best for a new chapter in your life. Hope your kids are doign OK.

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